Please note, this is an automated transcript so it is not 100% accurate.

Matt:
You can do these darkness retreats where it’s like you actually die. I couldn’t script this. I’m going into darkness. The same day Jesus was coming down from the cross. I was just going up and up and up and up and not aware of it. I remember seeing, I was walking through a tunnel and like. The K was moving. I would see serpents. It was like an ayahuasca trip at times. I was up against myself. From day dawn. My brain is so active. She rang the bell and she says, okay, Matt, your your’s. Three days of darkness has come to an end. The moonlight, it was so bright, it felt like the sun.

Guy:
We have the man, the myth legend, Mr. Matt Omo sitting in Bali. Here he is.

Matt:
no, my new spiritual name is Fru Lala. No, I’m joking. Um, you’d be amazed at the people you meet in Bali, mate. I’ve met some characters.

Guy:
I, I don’t doubt it. I don’t doubt it. Well, let’s, uh, give a broader overview for people. See, you’ve just come out the other side spending three full days in darkness. Is that correct? 3 24 hours,

Matt:
Three days, four nights is how it worked. So yeah, complete

Guy:
three nights, four days.

Matt:
Three days, three days, four nights. don’t, don’t trip. Don’t, don’t make fun of me, mate. I’m just getting my brain back.

Guy:
I, I don’t doubt it. I don’t doubt it. So I, and I’ve, I’ve actually intentionally not quizzed you too much. Because I wanna, I want to go on the ride with all the listeners about your experience. ’cause when you said, I’m drawn to doing three days, doing a three day darkness retreat, I think every part of me contracted.

Matt:
But you laughed at me. Is that just your reaction from all the contraction?

Guy:
Yeah. That’s a trauma response. I’m like, holy moly. Um,

Matt:
I think, I think I got the same outta my girlfriend mate. Like,

Guy:
yeah. I think everyone, everyone have kind of said or, or know,  they’re kinda like, Ooh, that’s interesting. Right.

Matt:
no, that wasn’t my reaction. My, when I, when it came across my feed, I was like, I gotta do that. And I, I’ve talked to a few people that were the same way. It’s like if you feel the calling, you just kind of go, so, yeah, but

Guy:
When did it come across your feed? Start there. Where did it come? When did it come across a feed? And had you been pondering on it at all? Or it just popped up and you thought, oh, I gotta do it.

Matt:
you know, I tried to trail back where that came from. I think I was watching a diary of a CEO, um, podcast, and he was talking about past lives or something. There was some woman on there, she mentioned it in there. She says, you don’t have to die or have some tr tragedy happened to you to go into that kind of state and you can do these darkness retreats where it’s like, you actually die. I was like, oh, okay. Sign me up. No. ’cause I was feel, I I, I’ve been feeling, you know, like, um, with the work and everything, it’s, it’s humming and things are going well, and it’s like, but for, for me, there’s, if I, the work that I do feels like it’s, it’s. In some ways at a plateau, and there’s like this next evolution of it that’s wanting to emerge.

So that’s kind of where I’ve been the last year and a half, two years, is do I access that? And because parts of me knows that it’s there and parts of me is, is resisting it for some reason. So that’s, that was kind of the calling and this darkness thing is something I hadn’t done and I’m like, oh, that’s, that seems like a very, uh, powerful to just sit with myself and just really get to the crux of it, what’s going on inside of me that’s, that’s causing this resistance or this inner conflict, this inner kind of, unease or unsettledness that, that feels like there’s something that’s wanting to birth.

So that’s, that was kind of it. So let’s, let’s take some time to, to birth something new. And it, it’s like, it’s the same thing happened to me when I wanted to, um, when I was planning to go to, uh, uh, Italy on my 30th birthday, I wanted to connect with St. Francis and that. Impulse then snowballed into me walking the Camino de Santiago across Spain. And it was like doors just opened. When I decided I was going to Italy, going to Rome, and going to Assisi, like my roommate hours later says, Hey, I’m moving out. You’re gonna have to move out. Which opened up freedom for me to travel. And a book fell into my lap about the Camino. And it was like that, like everything just opened. And this was the same way. It was like everything just opened and

Guy:
feels like though, it was like you made a declaration. It wasn’t like, oh, I’m going to, I might flirt with this. Or try, once you knew

Matt:
I

Guy:
you, you were, you were all in. And how many times do we say that to people that come through our work? Right. You, you know, you can’t do this half baked, like you, you gotta declare that I, I want to change or I want to shift and I want to go for it.

Matt:
Now it’s that willing presence, isn’t it? The, the foundation of our pyramid. Boom. You either show up or you don’t. Nobody can force you to do that. Nobody can like tell you how important it is. Until you are fully ready, you, you’re not gonna do it. And until you’re fully ready, the universe isn’t going to meet you to do it, which is insane. But yeah, that’s what I witnessed. A hundred

Guy:
So once you declared, then you’re all in.

Matt:
Hmm?

Guy:
’cause I think it was, you mentioned it a while back. Oh, I’m gonna go to Bali and do a, I’d like almost, maybe it’s gotta be more than six months ago.

Matt:
months ago. I reckon it came through.

Guy:
Yeah. Okay. And then what did you notice? I know eight months is a long time, but it’s almost like you’re coming closer and closer. I remember somebody said to me once they decided to do an ayahuasca journey and it was like they were coming closer and closer to their own execution. That’s where it kind of felt in themselves. Not to put it that extreme, but what did you notice was starting to happen as the day become closer?

Matt:
Well, it was more of a, a compressed move towards that, I reckon. Um, I booked the flights in Ja January and, you know, finalized the dates then. So that was only, what, three months? And then I like, like you were saying before we got on, we just, we were from, from January it was like, retreat, fly the kids to the states, come back, um, workshops, New Zealand retreat, and then I’m on a plane here, so it’s like I’m here on a plane. That’s when it really hit me. So then it, yeah, in, in a way it was, I, I was saying to people, ’cause thanks to you, Mr. Lawrence, I, um, yeah, my, I had to, uh, you said you should document this. So I’m at the airport waiting for my plane. I’m like, oh yeah, a guy said I should document this. Lemme just put a little social media post out there. the whole freaking tribe is on, on point, mate. Oh, tell us more. What are you, what are you doing next? How you feeling? So yeah, that’s when it really hit me, I think when I announced it to my social media

Guy:
It’s getting.

Matt:
then, yeah, it’s like, oh, I’m in now. I better come back with something or I’m gonna look like an idiot. Um, so I I, in those posts, and I, I, I think I spoke about it, is, um, it was a, a almost like a nervous excitement or, uh, excited nervousness, uh, is what I was feeling. So it was like this, what have I What have I done? Do I really wanna do this? Um, and this is going to be great of space. So I. That’s, that’s, that’s when it kind of hit. And then luckily for me, when that hit, I was on a plane heading here, and then I had a day before I, I planned it this way, knowing how this stuff works. Uh, give myself a day to unwind at a nice beach resort before really diving in and going into those places where I’m, you know, I was depriving myself of so many things.

Um, ultimately distractions, even though they, they tend to seem like healthy things. They were distractions. But sit in that space at the resort, have nothing else to consider. But what am I doing? Why am I doing this? What’s going on inside of me? What am I feeling? And just, just be with myself. And that was, and sleep as well. Um, which was Um, yeah, so that, that really got me on point so that I could just. Uh, feel grounded walking into the, the journey

Guy:
Before we get into the journey there, there’s a couple of things. ’cause obviously we spend so much time holding space and giving to any, you know, there’s a lot of giving and then there’s our roles that we play in our lives as well. And that, and

Matt:
Yeah.

Guy:
it just doesn’t happen often, does it, that, that sense of space and time. And what I’m curious with as well, ’cause I know you’ve had a, an amazing experience with the, where you are, with the, the people that run it and organize it and everything else. How did you end up choosing them? Like how would you know? I mean, can a darkness retreat be run poorly? I’m, I have, I’m sure it can, right? So,

Matt:
yeah. Like anything, Hey,

Guy:
yeah. Yeah.

Matt:
no, I, I’m, I’m sure there’s, um, the, it was, it, it just evolved as I was saying. It came across my feed and then it evolved into, um. The, the old Google search, you know, is there one in Australia? No, they can’t find any in Australia. Um, what’s the nearest one then? There was one in, uh, Europe Europe somewhere. uh, one in that I, I clocked onto. Um, through, um, Kelly Noon and Gore’s, uh, podcast. She went to that one, which, which sounds really amazing. I still might go to that one. in Oregon. Um, and then this one

This one came up and Bali I was like, oh, I could use a Bali trip. just, just because. Um, so um, let’s look at that Look at that one. And then it, it, really what really attracted me to because it was, it’s run by run by a couple and I think, you know, with our work, we, we tend to lean into this type of environment was a to hold the space, is what we’re familiar with, is that beautiful couple, their heart that has a space that is. the twice. you know, not some hipster, trendy kind of, um, social media influencer that’s trying to, you know, make a name for themselves.

It’s like, this is, this is who they are, this is what they believe, and they’re coming from the heart. They want to give, they wanna, it’s very supportive, very nurturing. And, so she’s from Finland and, uh, tulle is her name. And, uh, her husband is, uh, Balinese. so the land that these cabins are actually on are his family’s land. And, um, so when they started texting me through WhatsApp, their care, their support, their way of just communicating to me and being really sensitive, caring, um, supportive, just spoke volumes to me. I was like, no, this is, this is right.

Guy:
What’s the name of the retreat venue?

Matt:
Um, I don’t know if she’s got a name because, um,

Guy:
We, we, we can, we can link the show notes anyway for people.

Matt:
Yeah,

Guy:
We’ll put it in the show notes.

Matt:
which I like. ’cause she, um, briefly, her story is that she was from Finland and she was, um, basically dying, you know, like these, these pain points come into play. um, she had a, she felt a calling. She’s like, I need to go to Bali, to this, this one valley, this waterfall valley is where she was. And, and water fast for 40 days. she did, she healed herself of her, um, disease, whatever it was. I didn’t get the details. And, um, lived in the, a cabin with no electricity there for two years. And then people started to show up at her door they said, I hear that you, I hear you’ve healed yourself from, uh, cancer or whatever.

It was just by water fasting. Can you help me? I’m, I’m dying. And, uh, she’s like, okay, here’s what I did. And that’s, that was nine years ago. Um, so 11 years ago, she came here, nine years ago, she started doing the water fasting. she was telling me that her earliest memories, as a, as a child, like before she could even conceptualize was darkness. She says, I remember being in the womb. I remember darkness. I it was like a friend to me. And she’s like, so I’ve always had this space to go into this darkness. So that’s why lent into that from the water as well. She says, I didn’t realize people actually ran retreats in darkness, but now I get to hold the space. There’s two valleys that she works in. The Waterfall valley is where they do the water fasting they, um, they, they’ve dubbed it the Darkness Valley now for where they do the darkness retreats.

Guy:
Does she know you? Does she know you’re on the podcast you’ve been talking about her in the, the retreat space?

Matt:
No. ’cause she’s not like that. She’s, like I said,

Guy:
Yeah. No, it’s great.

Matt:
and, but she just could care less, you know, like, it,

Guy:
Brilliant. Yeah.

Matt:
she’s just happy to help people and then people just keep showing up. I said, how do you, do you mark it? Do you? Oh no, they just come. I

Guy:
We are just on here talking about it just ’cause of the goodness of her heart, like and your experience you’ve had. Right.

Matt:
yeah. Yeah. And, and that’s, that’s, what all resonated with me. I, you know, you could feel that coming through. And then, yeah, she followed through with who she is as a person and who they are as a, family run. It’s, it’s like they’re coming from the goodness of the heart. And, and the beautiful thing that I, I, I really admire about it too, um, appreciate about it, is that the, the money that comes out of that, it doesn’t just go to her buying a, a Maserati to travel around, you know, Balian. It’s like behind these darkness retreat cabins is. The family compound, you know, like all the houses of the extended family live up there. And so the profits go to them. cooking the food, they’re the space, they’re, you know, and so then they get profit back from that to, to live and to, you know, support their lives, which I think is a beautiful thing. So

Guy:
Like a village ecosystem. Yeah. Amazing.

Matt:
yeah, yeah,

Guy:
So, so when you, when you get there and you arrive during the day, they show you where you’re gonna be, where you’re gonna be for four days.

Matt:
yeah, yeah. No, because it, so I was a bit nervous going in because, uh, they were like, just meet at the car park at the waterfall, um, the waterfall car park. I’m like, okay, is there a phone there? Like, is there, do I do? Do I wait for the alien spacecraft to land or, uh, what happens? And then they said, oh, just somebody will be there. It’s like, okay. And, um, and so I, I rock up there and funnily enough there’s wifi in the car park, which is great. Okay, now I can talk to them in WhatsApp. And I said, I’m here, said somebody’s coming. And I’m like, where in the middle of the jungle? There’s, there’s nobody. I’m like, okay.

And I got, I I got, I got a bit nervous at that point. I was like, did I? scammed? Am I just gonna sit here in the jungle for three days? But then sure enough, some, um, some young girl comes walking outta the jungle and says, broken English, uh, Matt Omo come with me. It’s like, okay, I’m coming. And um, then you walk up this carious trail the jungle and, um. Turned down a little smaller trail that opens into this space where she holds the, the water fasting. So she’s got a little villa with tables on either side, a toilet, a bath to do like and scrubs for these people that are fasting and little kitchen, little outdoor kind of community space.

All decked out val style. Um, and that’s where she was. She was just sitting there and greeted me. And, we had a bit of a chat The chat, happening. Not so much detail. She just like, we’re gonna give we’re gonna give you the waterfall. ’cause she says, you need to be clear, we’d like to clear people energetically before they go into that space. And so she had this beautiful Balinese woman come in full, um, traditional attire and, did the whole, had the whole basket on her head blessings and prayers. Um, you know, the whole prayer bundles that they have here. And, um, and walked me deeper into the jungle, um, to the waterfall, which wow, I, I never actually seen a waterfall in Bali.

Um, funnily enough, I’ve been here a handful of times, but this extent, it was massive. Like, uh, I don’t know, five stories high or something. Um, and just the, the rush of the water coming down, and there’s a small outdoor temple next to it we, she guided me through this whole process of sitting, taking the prayer bundle, holding to the heart, doing a meditation, doing some mantra giving blessings to the, the spirit of the, the space there. And then she invited me to go into the waterfall. um, yeah, and you can literally go under the waterfall and like, as you’re coming up to it, the force of the water hitting and the air and the energy coming back is, it just like, goes right through you.

And so I did that, hung out under there for a bit. Then back in, um, more of the logistics and um, heading over then to the other valley, which, um, on a scooter with her stepson, with Tilly’s stepson who’s, who’s 18. And um, he doesn’t like to go slow on a scooter, let’s put it that way. So we were down these mountainous roads through the valley. She’s like, I’m just gonna take in a five minute scooter ride outta this valley into the other. That was like 15 minutes. I, I was, I was counting second by second mate ’cause and down and around and I’m like, is he gonna crash this thing? Um, but we ended up there in the valley and it was beautiful little cabin just nestled in the valley. Um, which she told me some stories about that space. Um, been talking a lot.

Am I talking too much or? Um, yeah, so we get there. about. What would it be? About five o’clock at this point. Um, the sun’s starting to drop and, uh, there’s a, a beautiful fire presented, um, Balinese, um, flowers and colors and, uh, gave me a nice meal. Before I went in, we had a bit of a chat. I signed my life away. Say, I’m choosing to go into this. We’re not forcing you as you do. And, um, had a Yeah, had a. about different things and, her husband came then and did the fire ceremony, blessings. And, um, this area in their land used to be a, um, like a fruit orchard where they had all these different fruit trees and the trees had gotten so old that they weren’t producing fruit anymore.

And so when her husband inherited the, the, the land from his dad, he, um, he decided it was time to clear it. And they cleared the whole land, right. And he couldn’t handle all the chopping of the, the trees and all this. So he hit the road for the day and when he came back there was one tree standing and he says, was like irate. He’s like, I paid you guys to clear all the trees, but there’s this one tree that’s still there. And they’re like, no, we cleared everything. I dunno what you’re talking about. There was no trees. turns out there’s this neem tree popped up. Apparently this is the story, right? And the a ne tree,

Guy:
story.

Matt:
right? Right. They just tell these different stories. And so the neem tree is uh, apparently a tree that holds people’s blessings. And the neem tree you can’t plant. This is the story. You can’t plant it. It just grows where it chooses to. And so this became a blessing to them, is that this neem tree popped out of this orchard. And so this is when it was birthed that this is where these darkness retreats are meant to be had. And so before you go in, you go up to the neem tree. It’s a beautiful tree. It’s massive. Must have been there for years.

It looks like it’s been there for years. And then, um. It just arches over the, um, the cabins. And so it kind of holds the space of the cabins and you put a blessing to the tree with your intentions um, and then a blessing to the altar. And then you, you go into this dark room, right? So it’s a little cabin now. So two rooms, uh, one on the side. So it’s like you got the peak roof they’re separated and each room has a bed, space to have a yoga mat. Uh, little like beanbag kind of chair thing that allows you to sit in many different positions, which is great. Um, a table that you can squat down to, which has a door in front of it that opens to a box. And outside of that is another door. So they can open the door outside, put the food in, close their door, and then you open it so it stays dark, right?

Guy:
I was wondering about that actually. Yeah.

Matt:
Yeah.

Guy:
Yeah.

Matt:
they, she recommended highly don’t take your food anywhere but here. Because you’re bound to drop something and then the answer come, I’m like, oh, that makes sense to me. I’m gonna eat everything right here and I’m gonna keep it clean. Um, and so that’s where

Guy:
Where they put the food is where you eat it,

Matt:
That’s where you eat it. Yeah.

Guy:
so don’t go. Okay. That. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Matt:
drop stuff very easy and you wouldn’t even know. Right. then, then beyond that, the bed and all that stuff that I just explained is a second room. Uh, the room I had didn’t have a door, but the, the other room had a door to the toilet and it’s just simply a toilet on one end, and sink, kind of like on the wall. And that’s it. And everything’s totally black. You got an air conditioner and a fan too. So, and the lights and the air conditioner are blocked out. So that’s, that’s the, uh, that’s the scene mate. That’s where we’re

Guy:
Okay, so Codeless, um, obviously you could walk out any time. I’m guessing it’s not like they lock the door and you gotta bang it down. So.

Matt:
that’s, they make that very clear. Yes. Because the last thing they want is for anybody to feel trapped. they said, you can come out at any time. You haven’t failed. Uh, you, you’re supported, however you wanna meet. This is up to you. What they do is, um, it’s a wooden door, Balinese style door with the wooden latch that goes on the inside. So I lock the door so nobody can come in. So I feel safe in there, but if I want to go out, I can go out. And then on either side, I’ve got a curtain inside, a blackout curtain that rolls down over the cracks of the door. And on the outside they have a blackout curtain that goes down and it’s velcroed, right? So I would just have to roll it up, open the door, and pop through the Velcro, and I’m out.

Guy:
Wow. Okay. Okay, so you’ve gone in, you, you, you, they’ve set the scene, you’ve done your, your tree blessing as well.

Matt:
Yeah, I

Guy:
So say your

Matt:
Tree Blessing. Right.

Guy:
name, tree Blessing. You’ve set the scene and then you, you’ve, you’ve entered the room, they’ve closed the door, and now is it dark outside? You’ve had the fire going, but if the fire wasn’t there, would it be pitch black?

Matt:
No, it was

Guy:
Was it?

Matt:
Yeah, yeah,

Guy:
Right.

Matt:
So the, the day that I went in was on a Friday and it was, um, it just come off a full moon. So even as the sun was setting, there was still enough illumination from the moon, in the sky. So it wasn’t pitch black.

Guy:
So sorry. No, let me get this straight. You went in on Good Friday and came out on Easter. Monday

Matt:
Yeah. And that wasn’t, that wasn’t planned. Okay.

Guy:
J we got JC in the house.

Matt:
my Jesus did come, but this is, this is later in the story. Uh.

Guy:
Uh, I love this. I love this. This is just getting better and better.

Matt:
I, I couldn’t believe it ’cause I didn’t clock it at first. I was like, oh, I can go on these dates in April. Like, and the kids have school holidays and they’re with their mom, like, this is great. I’ve got I nine, 10 days, I can just really do this. And um, then I started doing it and I was like, oh, the flights are a bit expensive. What’s going on? And I was like, oh, it’s bloody school holidays and Easter weekend, of course. And that’s when it hit me. I’m like, are you kidding me? Like, I couldn’t script this, that I’m, I’m going into darkness. The same day Jesus was come down from the cross and on the third day we’re coming out again.

Guy:
He is a risen.

Matt:
He is risen, mate. Oh, Jesus. Yeah,

Guy:
So, so, okay, let’s, let’s back to the story. So you’ve gone in, you’ve locked the doors

Matt:
Yeah.

Guy:
and it’s pitch black.

Matt:
Not yet. The lights are on. You can turn ’em off. That’s the other thing. You got lights in there. It’s up to you when you wanna shut ’em off.

Guy:
No shit. So you could go back to turn the light on as well.

Matt:
If, if you

Guy:
That would, that would be rough, wouldn’t it? Like if you’re like two and a half days in, you decide to flick the light on.

Matt:
Well it was rough. Say two hours in, because here’s the deal. you got, you got the air conditioning on the wall above the doorway to the toilet, then there’s these big, like square switches. You can’t miss ’em, right. You just, you pop it and it, the whole light comes on. And next to that is where they mounted the remote for the air conditioning, so you know where the story’s going. So I’m about two hours in You can’t even see the hand in front of your face. Right. Like, oh man. Okay. And um, I’m like, I, it’s kind of cool.

Now I think I’ll turn this off. And I go to reach for that bloody remote, and wouldn’t you know it, I hit the goddamn Turn the light on. right? was like, oh, and I cracked it off. I was like, no, I, I just spent two hours in here getting acquainted and I’m just like blown the whole gig, man. So very quickly I learned that that remote needs to sit by the bed. It doesn’t sit by the light switches. And, um, yeah, so it’s just from those two hours, the amount of impacts that, that, and it’s not a bright light, it is just a, you know, a normal room light. And that really, really spiked my, my sight. I was like, wow, that was intense. So that was two hours in, right?

Guy:
When did you decide to go down to sleep then? Like, because

Matt:
So that’s, she, she did talk to this. She says, you know, when you, when you first go in, you are, um. You’re gonna get a, a, a big hit of melatonin ’cause your, your body and you’re gonna realize how and distracted we are in our lives. Um, most people will sleep like the whole first day or two day and a half. and so I was like, I was excited for that. Let’s do it. Ketchup on the last five years. so yeah, so yeah. they had just fed me before I went in there, a nice full bolonese, you know, starchy rice, vegetable kind of dish with a coconut bigger than my head. So I, I was, I was at the toilet every, every 15 minutes for the first three hours. Um, but yeah, Yeah. um, I dropped pretty quickly. It was get everything established. Kind of know where I’m gonna place stuff, have a strategy about how I’m gonna manage this space when it gets dark. I feel comfortable all the lights go off. Um, and then I probably did, like I said, like a, I was laying down before I turned the air conditioning off, so probably asleep within three hours and, um, yeah.

And in there she’s like, you know, nobody’s gonna come in here. It’s probably easiest just to walk around naked. Like, I was like, you’re not wrong. So, um, had the best thing that I brought in that room. Well, there’s a couple best things that I bought in that room. One, when I was walking on the beach before there was some beautiful stones and, um, my breathwork teacher had always gave you stones in the sessions. He would run for you and you hold the stones in your hand and the stones ground you as you go in into this active breathing process. And, um, I still have the stones that he gave me from years ago, and so I thought, oh, lemme get a couple stones that will be like that. That was a saving grace in many ways. ’cause I had those stones there, so that was to hold, to have something to ground me. Um, and the other great thing that I had, so

Guy:
Yeah.

Matt:
oh, was a Ong, it was like a, a light That’s what I used. I just, you know, I could have it around me if I was a bit chilly or just take it off. And it was like, so much easier than having pants and shirt or whatever it was to manage while I was in there. So, What were you gonna say?

Guy:
I’m actually here right now at a retreat space in Topo New Zealand, and it’s beautiful and it really brings home the difference between understanding this work and actually living it because that’s what retreats can do and why we’re so passionate about it. They give you the space to slow down, to reconnect and truly let something deeper land. So it’s not just an idea, but it’s a lived experience. That’s why we created Live In Flow. So if you’ve been feeling this shift in your own life and you know you’re ready to go deeper, then come back to live flow.co to find out more. Anyway, back to the episode. Was interested in the stone and the grounding. So is that somewhere you could just really place your attention when shit was coming up? Is is that what like is helping anchor you in?

Matt:
Yes. Yeah, it, it kind of, it settled me in my body at times. There was a few times of that came up. Uh, I got

Guy:
I bet.

Matt:
one afternoon. And yeah, the stones were a go-to. And the routines, like I, I, I think I mentioned to you, I kind of had to pull on every tool that I had to, to manage that because y you’re in this. And yeah, I did sleep the first day pretty, pretty solidly. But it wasn’t until I come out that I realized I was probably waking up around 3 34 in the morning because the moon is very bright in the sky, but it feels like it’s the sun, like kind of, you can kind of see after a day or so, you get so sensitive, you can kind of see little faint bits of light. but then it’s like, I wasn’t sure. I’m like, is that light or am I tripping? And so that’s when during the days I started to put, uh, actual blindfold on just to, just to counteract that in case I was getting some sort of light. I didn’t wanna compromise the experience. Um, but it, it turned out that, that, that’s another story. I could go on different tangents. Um, I’ve

Guy:
Alright.

Matt:
of thought.

Guy:
Yeah, I’ll jump in for a sec then. So let’s keep it in a linear pause for a sec then. So you, you’ve gone to sleep, you’ve crashed out, and then you’ve woke up, right?

Matt:
yeah.

Guy:
Or you might be stirring in and out and, and like, are you then, now starting to lose track of even what day it is? Do, do they come and tell you you’ve been in there two days, Matt, or whatever, like my accent as well then it was, it was all there.

Matt:
Nice. I know the accent was mate. Uh,

Guy:
know what that came outta my mouth, but, but Or is it? Now you’re just in it. And it could be one day, it could be three days. Who knows, right?

Matt:
I would imagine, and she did say as I came out ’cause she didn’t gimme any kind of stories about what people had experienced. ’cause she didn’t want taint my experience going in, which was great. Um, but she did say that some people really get delirious and they lose all sense of reality in different ways and time. And that, um, my, and that’s through people do seven, 10 days, you know, longer ones. Um. That was my initial kind of thing. I was gonna do a seven day or, and um, they encouraged me to just give it a, give it a go at three days first. And I’m so glad that they did.

Guy:
Touch you in it. Just fucking jump in. Boots and all. Uh.

Matt:
Oh, fuck this too long. Um, no. Yes, I wake up and No, you don’t lose because you’re getting meals too. So this is the other thing is that there’s three meals served. Um,

Guy:
Of course.

Matt:
kind of manage the time that way, but like I said, I, it was, my timing was off because I’d wake up and I’m thinking, and plus you can hear the, an, the animals outside, you can hear the wildlife of nature. And so, you know, the, the, the silly ese roosters, there’s one now just went off. It’s like. 11 o’clock here. Um, go off from like time of the day or night they’ll go off. So gauge that. Um, but I did start to notice the birds, there’s certain types of bird calls that would come in at certain times of the day and I’m like, oh, that’s interesting. Um, so I knew when the actual sun was happening because this, there’s the roosters are idiots and then there was two other types of birds and by the time the third one got there, I’m like, okay, now we’re about an hour from breakfast.

Um, so that’s how I gauged it. And yeah, it was, it was fascinating. So then the first day I get up and boy, it was a long time before breakfast, so I should have, I should have taken that as a hint that I probably got up in the middle of the night, but I didn’t. I thought, oh, it’s morning. and this is where I’m just feeling around getting to know the space. And like I said, this is when I first discovered, ’cause I went and it was nighttime and when I see some light kind of filter through. I it’s so subtle. Like you wouldn’t have seen it, the, if you just walked in there, turn the lights off in the day, you’ve gotta sit in there for a bit. And then I put the mask on, and then I’m laying there with the mask on and my eyes closed. I’m like, okay. And then I’m like, oh, I gotta get up and use the toilet. And I’m like, I stand up and I walk around the corner, mask on, pitch black, eyes closed. I’m like, that the toilet? could see a white toilet in front of me. And I’m like, no. can I, like,

Guy:
This is after your first day?

Matt:
up first

Guy:
Yeah.

Matt:
no, I can’t. Like, how is that? I took the blindfold off over my eyes and like kind of squinted in the dark. I’m like, yeah. And felt it forward and like, yep, that’s the toilet. And then put it all back on and like, yep. I can still see it, like, not clear, like, but there’s an outline, there’s a, there’s a hue of a white toilet there. like, that’s fascinating. And I, you know, one of your podcasts, I think you had a, a fellow on that was talking about the. the woman was on talking about the blindfold, the kids and all that

Guy:
Yeah. I’ve had a few people doing it. Yeah. Yeah.

Matt:
So that was, in my

Guy:
I.

Matt:
like, oh, is this what they’re on about? Um, and later coming out Tulley was like, yeah, you actually start to see the energy of things. Um, and so I was toying with that from the beginning, which is fascinating. so I was doing that in the morning and then it’s like, um, as I’m getting acquainted to that, I’m still kind of churning and waiting for that breakfast to come. Like that’s gonna be, I’ve made it to breakfast. And I realized quickly I had to, to quiet my mind. What I needed for myself was some sort of routine. Um, and so that’s where I started to lean in my tools. So before I get outta bed, I started doing the q packing and uh, meditation.

Moving to energy, energy centers up. And then I would get outta bed. So that gave me time in the morning do a practice, to start to feel the energy, to be present, quiet the mind. And because, wow, these days are long like it’s, it’s such a, such a flip of the script to realize how much time we actually have in a day when you’re sitting in a room with no distractions but yourself as opposed to when you’re in your life. And we are doing so much and we blink in a month has passed. And it’s like, that was one of the huge lessons for me is like, wow, we, really spend our time visiting ourselves and ultimately all that’s doing is causing us to miss life and just really piss it away. It’s like, no, if you actually had a presence in a, in a. A stillness and, and a practice to nurture space in your life, your life will be much fuller and much longer. I was like, wow, that’s pretty radical. So, um, yeah, I was, I was toying with that whole construct of time in there. Um, but after the chi and energy and, go on. Do you have a

Guy:
No. Yeah, go on the, keep going. The routine.

Matt:
Uh, yeah. Then, then I, then the rocks came in ’cause I was like, oh, I can do a nice foot massage for myself. And, um, fascia release with the rocks. Oh, I had nice half hour each foot massage and then down the legs, um, chest arms, like all the stuff that you do with the fascia release with your little device. was doing that with the stones and I’m like, oh, this is gonna be so good for me. And I’d do that. And then I’d sit and meditate again in the chair and that. Probably had like an hour or two meditation after all that before the breakfast would come. Right. And so here’s breakfast. And I’ve had a full day already.

Guy:
When did you start, like you’ve, you’ve gone into routine, you’re losing track of time, you know, you’re seeing toilets in the dark, like there’s all, you know, there’s all these things that are starting to come online. When did you. Starts was the points come where you started coming up against yourself, where the, my, you know, the body was starting to reveal what maybe we’ve been, uh, keep keeping ourselves distracted from.

Matt:
Well, it’s, yeah. I mean, I was up against myself from day dot Like it just happens. My brain is so active. Um, that was the biggest battle. That’s why I was doing a lot of breathing, a lot of meditation. What can I do to steal my mind? That was the, the main objective because the mind chatter just makes it even longer and more arduous. back to my vipasana experience, just focusing on the breath on out, in and out of the nose, like was a powerful practice to lean back into. Um, so yeah, I was coming up against myself there. The, the first kind of physical unrest came in after lunch. So I had gone, uh, breakfast is just a bowl of fruit with, uh, some coconut water, which is great. Like very light. That’s all I needed. And then lunch came and the food is beautiful, all homemade, you know, um, healthy, clean, and yeah, it was a, it was a, a decent portion and I thought, oh, I don’t want, I don’t want ’em, I don’t wanna. you know, bad about not eating their food. They’ve prepared it for me. I should eat the whole thing. And, um. So I ate more than I should have. And then I was like, yeah, okay. And all the work that I had done in the morning, my energy just went boom. And so I was like, ah, it’s probably not the best way to go about it, having food times a day.

And, um, and so, and plus I was like, I’m gonna put on about 10 kilos just sitting in this room and eating this much food. So after lunch, I waited for an hour or so meditating, and then I did a little body weight fitness routine, um, which leads to, um, in the, the Balinese heat, a very sweaty room that then led me to the shower. that’s my shower for the day. um, which is an interesting experience in the dark, you’d be amazed at how much we do with our eyes that we just take for granted. So many things. And um, yeah. And then I got to a point after that that I’m sitting down and I’m like, okay, now I feel like I’m back to square one energetically on having to lift myself back to that lucid state again. And that expanded state. So in that meditation, it started to occur to me I should, um, not eat so much. And also in that is when that first bit of claustrophobia came in, um, it’s, it’s a small room. I mean, two meters, two and a half meters probably square is the room plus the toilet. Um, and the um,

Guy:
Size of my office. Wow.

Matt:
Yeah. I mean if you imagine you had a bed and then a yoga mat and then the wall either side and it’s about the same width. So, um, yeah. And my, one of my key things, you know me, like I can’t sit still, can I like.

Guy:
No comment.

Matt:
The comment went right, and they’re like, bloody hell, what is this busyness? What is this moving? And my, uh, my favorite thing to do when I’m freaking out is to go for a walk in nature. And I’m like, I can only walk two steps on that yoga mat each way. That’s as far as I can go. So I had to deal with that, and that’s when the claustrophobia came in. I’m like, wow, I’ve never felt claustrophobic, but I’m sure feeling it now. And, um, yeah.

So I had to settle myself. Had a full belly feeling, anxious, feeling claustrophobic, and just coming to terms, that was probably the first realization. It’s like, well, why do I move so much? And boy, the, the answer came hard and fast outta that one. Um, distraction strategy for survival, um, doesn’t allow me to be present. Doesn’t allow me to deal with what is really there. Feel what I. Um, need to be feeling like, you know, the list goes on. It’s like, okay, if nothing else comes to this, I’m going to sit here for three days and overcome that, uh, strategy or that, um, habit fidgeting, moving. And, uh, I felt like I really came to peace with that over the three days. that was the first.

Guy:
This is great.

Matt:
Ah, we’ll see. Hang, hanging out with you is the next level of, uh, retreat.

Guy:
So when did you, because you spoke of the experience of the, the crown of the head and the pain and, and what comes through to,

Matt:
would go there. That

Guy:
of course, ma.

Matt:
private message

Guy:
Oh, is it All right. We keep it quiet then I.

Matt:
no, I’ll share it. I just don’t wanna sound like a fucking hootie lala mate. Like, um, there’s weird stuff going on in there and you, I didn’t realize how altered I was until I got outside and was able to see, because the site and gives you a point of reference. So in there I had no point of reference associate to, to understand how altered I was. Does make sense? Does okay. So I was just going up and up and up and up and not aware of it. ’cause I had no

Guy:
As in expansion

Matt:
expansion energetically.

Guy:
Yeah,

Matt:
I was doing these practices hours a day.

Guy:
I bet.

Matt:
work, active breathing, meditation, energy center stuff, um, somatic work, uh,

Guy:
on a, on a side note, right,

Matt:
Hmm.

Guy:
not that we can speak for anyone else’s experience, but you’ve got a lot of experience in this field and tools and things that we, you know, we do. It’s, you got an incubator to, to work in for people that are not experienced of any of it and then go in there. I, I do, I do wonder, um, what would come out of it, you know.

Matt:
Well, I think we all have our, our, it goes back to the willingness, doesn’t it? I think, I think if, if, if someone is willing and feels called to do it, they’re going to find the resources within them to move through it or,

Guy:
Yeah,

Matt:
or not, like it doesn’t have to. I mean, that, that could be the journey as well. Is to realize, wow, I really, I really need support. I really can’t manage myself. I really, I I am out of control. Or something along those lines. ’cause that, that those thoughts cross my mind as well as I was in there is, you know, with all these tools, why am I struggling so much? And the truth of it is, is that the tools are, just tools to overcome the biggest challenge that we have in our lives, which is ourselves. And so no matter what tools you have in your tool chest, still there

Guy:
still human.

Matt:
still human. You’re still there. You still gotta manage the mind, the aches and the, the issues of the body, um, and so forth. So yeah, I think it did help me a lot, I reckon. But I probably would’ve powered through it in a different way if I didn’t have those tools.

Guy:
Yeah.

Matt:
Um,

Guy:
Is it, do, do you think there’s a way, is there a way to muscle through this in some respects as opposed to, you know, surrendering to it? Like, could that be possible for people as well? Yeah,

Matt:
no, I think it’s like we see it all the time, don’t we? In the retreats, there’s

Guy:
no, we do.

Matt:
If you could, wanna Yeah. But that’s, you are only gonna get then as much, um, you are only gonna get the insight that you need for where you are on your journey. So if you’re really tethered to the ego and really tethered to that having to push, then that’s going to be present for you and you’ll succeed in these processes of getting through them. But you might not have then the, the capacity to understand vulnerability or surrender. And I, I know from my journey, that’s been a, a very, when I first started even holding space for people, my way of working with people was very, you know. Guns blazing. Let’s, let’s, let’s smash this kind of mindset. And over the years and hanging out with you, I’ve softened a bit realize that it’s not push and force is not the most powerful thing that we have access to. It’s surrender and vulnerability often more powerful. So I think it’s the evolution we’re all on and yeah, there’s different ways to meet this, different ways to, to go through it, for sure. But

Guy:
Talk us through. Um, sorry, I, on a tangent, come back to.

Matt:
it’s the, oh, okay. I’ll give you the woo woo

Guy:
So you’re going up and up and up and up. Expensive and.

Matt:
Expanding? Yeah. No, the, uh, the, so the, the IMS thing was crazy. So I could start to literally make out the bed and I was testing myself. ’cause then there’s, the bed sheets are white and I’m like, oh, I could see. So right there then is the corner of the bed, and then I reach out and yep, that’s the corner of the bed. Okay. So I am seeing something here. Um, still questioning, am I making this up? Um, because I saw the room before and then I was like, okay. The, the dune of the, the, um, blanket over the bed was darker color. So, okay, I’m gonna pull that over the bed and then just leave it. And if I come back, I probably won’t see it because it’s not white. Right. And, um, then I would get amongst a meditation or something, I’d forget that I had done that. And I’d come back and I’m like, oh, I can’t see the bed anymore. Like, oh, wait a minute. And then you move the blanket and like, oh, I can see it again. So it was really fascinating to play with that kind of stuff through the Mask in the Darkness.

So there’s, there’s something to that. And Through that, how to see depth with that, watching the energy of things. you start to get that get people in there as well. so you get and amongst other probably, um, hormones and, that endorphins. Um, so things can get trippy. I remember seeing, like, I was walking through a tunnel and like the cave was moving serpents. I would see serpents. It was like I was like a um, an ayahuasca trip at times. Um, with the visuals I was seeing. You get flashes flash. all of a sudden I’d be there meditating. And then there’s like eye looking at me and I’m like, and it’s illuminated. And I’m like, what’s that lamp? And I’m like, oh, there’s no lamp. Oh, I just, that was just. A hallucination or a, a vision of something.

So, I started to get these flutters that would come in, it’s like a strobe light. And I started then to allow that to relax. And it was like energy wanting to come in flutter in like this strobe light. And then if I softened, I could feel it rushed through my body. I was like, that’s really cool. So these types of things I was playing with, I was playing with energy. Um, one point, like this is the thing that I mentioned to you is like, I felt this real big pressure on my head. And I’m like, what is that? Why, how, how do I let this go? And that’s, that’s when old JC came in and that’s when he was, he was hooded and it had this like, um, of brownish habit on oh, that’s a, a Franciscan monk. ’cause I’ve had a guide that I’ve worked with over the years that’s often. himself like that. And, um, it wasn’t until I kind of tuned into the essence of that figure that I saw in front of me that it that that was the, the essence of, of Jesus Christ in front of me. And, um, and for whatever reason he was saying that the, the pressure in your head is the, is the, um, the crown of thorns from the crucifixion. And I was like, like, I didn’t think about it at the time. I’m like, okay. And then I said, lift it off. And I literally took my hands and went like that. And that pressure just dissipated and the energy just rushed out my head. And I was like, oh, that’s interesting.

So I grappled with that. I’m like, he’s, I was like, what are you saying? Like, was I part of the, the energy of Jesus Christ when Jesus was in physical form? And I’m like. can’t, I can’t hold that as a, as a legitimate of um, in my consciousness. But I think that what comes to me is that we are all part of that kind of consciousness emerging on the planet. Um, if there was a physical named Jesus Christ that was enlightened, um, but that, that was the energy, that was the essence. That was the metaphor. I often look at these things as metaphors. Um, all that energy communicates to me, um, is through symbols, through metaphors. And that was a very powerful one for me, ironically enough, as we were joking about, um, going in on Easter.

Guy:
Yeah. Right. No, it’s, it’s the whole thing’s. Fascinating. So once you found your routine, you, you, you’re going through it, you’re having all these experience, was it a point where you felt comfortable and. And it would con you. Okay. So, so when, when the time was up

Matt:
No, I did.

Guy:
to,

Matt:
times there was plenty. It’s, you know, like everything, like all of our practices, like all of our life e ebbs and flows, right? So there’s times where I’m in the zone. I’m, I’m, I’m just there, and like, time is timeless, I’m expanded. This is great. Wow. I, I feel, yeah, so much power and, and consciousness and awareness and la la and, um, and there’s other times where it’s like, why did I do this? What am I doing? This is the joke. Um, the mind mm-hmm. But no, I got in a groove. I got in a, kind of, in my pattern. My schedule helped having the routine and I was easy.

I was able to drop quickly into a meditation. That’s what I notice. Um, the stories would come up in the first day. Two things to do. Um, regrets, choice points, memories, all that. And that kind of unwinds itself after a couple days. So by day three, it’s like you have a random thought, and then I would just say, okay, let’s just come back and boom, I could drop in. So comfort that was as comfortable as I got was to be able to just detach and be,

Guy:
Yeah, fair enough. What was it like? I keep, it’s funny, I keep thinking of Matt Black, um, ’cause I was telling him about what you were doing and he’s a good friend of ours and he was saying, um, he was in San Francisco recently and they went to Alcaraz to have a look, him and his son.

Matt:
Mm.

Guy:
And he said, uh, uh, and the prison guy was ex, the, the guy that was showing them round was explaining the prison guards, like for any bad, real bad behavior in there, they’d put ’em in a pitch black cell in isolation, right. But what they used to do was give them a coin, one coin. Then the prison, the prisoner would throw the coin in this pitch black and then spend the rest of the time trying to find the coin that was what was keeping them sane. And then they’d eventually find the coin and just hold onto it for like, dear Gratitude in life. Oh, I found the, and then eventually they’d throw it again and just keep you going. And that’s how they got through it. So you kind of think, wow, you know, when you, that puts things into perspective as well. You know, imagine doing it in a place like that far out.

Matt:
When you don’t

Guy:
I.

Matt:
when you’re gonna come out. ’cause that’s, that’s the other thing is like, wow, like deep respect for, um, that are blind and what they have to manage in life. Um, and don’t, you know, that’s, that’s their experience or, um, I. You know, like, like yeah, you lean, I, I leaned into that a bit. It’s like, oh, feeling like a prisoner in there. self prison in a way. And, um, I knew I had an exit, but how, how would that feel if I didn’t know when the exit was? That would be next level? Like insane making stuff? Yeah.

Guy:
What was it, um, like coming out?

Matt:
Yeah. So coming out, ’cause I kind of had a beat on the timing. It was gonna be the third night. Once it got dark enough and, you know, those subtle lights that I, I was trying to identify where the time of day was were way off. Um, because it got pitch black again, I couldn’t see any of the subtle light slide. I figured, oh, it must be completely dark. And um, and then I started to get anxious. I’m like, okay, well they gonna come soon. They’re gonna come. You can’t wait. You can’t wait. You gotta just sit here, just be present. Who knows how long it’s gonna take and. Battle battle, battle, battle. And then this beautiful storm came through. The wind picked up and bit of thunder rain just came bashing down on the roof. And it’s like, ah, that is a clear message.

Just, just relax, just chill out. And so in that moment, I, I was laying on the bed at that point trying to cope with myself, and I got up and sat in the chair and grabbed my stones and, um, and sat down and really started to breathe into myself. um, and that’s when I started to hear this, this message. And it said, um, this is you. You’re still here. Like you, this is all part of the experience. Be present with it because you’re gonna, you wanna have as much of an experience as you can. You don’t wanna miss any of it. So just be here. Enjoy these last moments of this experience. And. Then the message was, have an opportunity to out of here into a new life, a new version of yourself, a new way of being, and whatever it is that you choose. And I, and I had gone in and, and was, you know, how do I allow the essence of myself to emerge more and let go of all the restrictions?

There weren’t many restrictions. Funnily enough, I think over the years, the work I’ve done has been helpful, um, which surprised me. But then the main restriction, which I mentioned before, was just myself. And so I come to terms with that. It’s like, okay, just get outta my own way and allow that to emerge. And then the question that also brought me in there was how do I, you know, with the state of the world and everything, I was like, well, how do we bring more peace, love, and kindness onto the planet? And um, yeah, that’s when that landed was in those last moments was the answer to that for me. Was what we always say, you know, the the cliche is to is to be that. And so that became my mantra as I was sitting there, is that I, I’m going to step into a life of, being kind to myself, to be, um, well, I had a nerve, um, yeah, be more kind to myself, be more kind to others, more loving and, um, and to, to be more grateful as well. I think it’s a big one that came, came flying in and all those deprivations of light and, um, crutches and, um, as soon as I had that.

This is what I’m gonna step into. Um, more peace, more love, more kindness, more gratitude. She rang the bell and she says, okay, Matt, your, your three days of darkness has come to an end. Um, you now are welcome to come out. And so the layers come off and pop out. And as they pull back that curtain, my, I thought they got me out like in the middle of the day. I was like, come on guys. Like that’s bright. But it was the moonlight, so it was like half moon. And uh, it was so bright, it felt like the sun. And I was kind of squinting and putting my hand over my eyes to, to focus in like your, your depth perception’s all off. Your, your balance is a bit off. Um, I, I stood there a bit wobbly and I was looking down and they had some steps that were in front of me that I needed to walk down from the, the villa. And I thought there was these LED lights that they had around the stairs, which I like. That’s nice. They can actually see that, make that out. And it turns out that it’s just gold trim, just these shiny gold trims that were so bright from the reflection of the moonlight, that felt to me like LED lights. And so that gives you a bit of perspective on how altered after three days my sight was. And um, I came out, to focus on her to walk down to the fire again, and they give you a, a, a lay or a thing of flowers and, um, set you down and come out for another meal and, uh, and chill out. Yeah.

Guy:
How many days has it been now since you’ve been out

Matt:
Now, um, well, I came out on.

Guy:
Monday, Easter Monday.

Matt:
night when we did that little experience. And then I got the star gaze for a while. Go back into the darkness with candlelight. There was one candle that they let me burn. And then, yeah, in the morning I got up before, this is when I realized I was getting up super early ’cause it was like the moon was out. I thought it was sunny ’cause the sun was rising. Uh, watch the sun rise and that allowed me to get acquaintance. That was Monday night. Uh, Tuesday. What’s today? Thursday? It’s a Friday’s

Guy:
Yeah. Thursday. Yeah, there you go.

Matt:
Yeah. So yeah, Monday tu two and a half days. this I like, I up until last night, I couldn’t sit on the screen like this, this long. I would do about 20 minutes on the screen and I’d start to get a headache or my eyes would

Guy:
I bet. I bet.

Matt:
like the impact of these things. Insane. Yeah.

Guy:
Impact of a lot of things we do. It’s insane.

Matt:
It really brought things into perspective, I think. Um, yeah, the way that, that I do things in life, the things that I take for, for granted just are on autopilot. It is funny, isn’t it? ’cause I, these things out loud and it’s like the same stuff that we say to all of our clients. and, um, I think it’s a beautiful thing to be able to take time for ourselves, um, as facilitators to, to, uh, be witness, uh, firsthand as to what, what our clients are going through and what we experience, um, makes us better, better teachers. Um, and I know there’s, hope like, uh, that I can keep moving this intention that I had when I came outta that space into my life. And that’s gonna require a lot of, um, letting go of a lot of busyness and a lot of this chasing and a lot of, and. Yeah, the, the, the fears, a lot of it comes down to the fears, what we hold.

Um, e everything, you distill it down. It’s a fear. It’s a fear of, of dying ultimately. And that, that is our ultimate, um, end note in this experience anyway, is death. Um, so not something that we need. It is something we need to make friends with, I think, and then making friends with it. I think that we then a lot of the charge that the fear has on us, which ultimately leads to the choices we make, the actions that we take, and the behaviors that we show. And so if we come to terms with that, we can then shift the behaviors and shift the life and yeah, sure it’ll all come out in the workshops and retreats as,

Guy:
I don’t doubt it. There’ll be a lot. Like I was saying to you before we record it, there’s a lot of people, you know, within our Live In Flow community that are gonna be, uh, work. Wanting to know this experience and what it felt, and, uh, you know, it, we’ve been talking for nearly an hour and five minutes and incredible mate. Yeah, it’s incredible what you’ve, you’ve just done. You know, I, I, I ponder on it. I was like, like I, like I was saying, I was driving with the family, was it Saturday, Sunday driving down to, uh, yeah. To, to see the, the grandparents so the kids could see the grandparents and stuff. And um,

Matt:
Yeah.

Guy:
and I was just trying, you have time and I was just feeling into you and where you, you know, just starting to imagine what it would be like to be in darkness is kind of funny, you know, when you just get in the zone and I was just feel, and I just thought, holy shit, this is, this is, this is, no, this is no, uh, walk in the park. No walk in the park,

Matt:
Oh.

Guy:
you know? Yeah. Yeah.

Matt:
And then, and then she say to yourself, thank God I’m not doing that.

Guy:
Yeah,

Matt:
That

Guy:
pretty much. What?

Matt:
I’m glad you didn’t close your eyes on the freeway mate, trying

Guy:
No, I didn’t do that.

Matt:
No. Yeah. I, it is been a journey. Like the coming out has been hard, mate. Like I, we had the opportunity to go to the waterfall afterwards, which I did that again, that was so clear and so cleansing and grounding. And then I’ve just been at this space here again, up by the, the water. And it’s literally taken me this long. I’ve had, I’ve had two massages, a, a salt scrub, um, healing session from a Balinese healer. And yeah, I just, today I woke up and I’m like, okay, I’m back. back. So I was surprised how much it took to really get back into life. I’m not fully back in yet.

Guy:
Yeah. Don’t rush in, mate. Stay slow. As somebody kept reminding me, the, the slower you go, the faster you get there in many ways. Why can’t we just be more, you know?

Matt:
Yes. Yeah,

Guy:
Well, uh, I’ll, um, make sure, get the boys, make sure the links are in the show notes for everyone. They can check out, um, where you were. Uh, I’ll get some photographs in there, if that’s all right as well in the video version so they can, they can just at least show you accommodation and stuff, where you were staying and that kind of thing as they were going through. But, uh, yeah. Any final words maybe before we wrap this up?

Matt:
Oh man. I said a lot of words. That was the other thing. I was silent in there for four days on purpose.

Guy:
Can you imagine?

Matt:
yeah, it’s

Guy:
I, I can’t,

Matt:
voice to reestablish. So that’s a lot of words for me in the last week. Just there.

Guy:
Yeah, right. Of course. Yeah. No, phenomenal mate. Inspiring. I’m really, uh, happy for you and proud of you, what you’ve just gone and done. It’s incredible.

Matt:
Yeah,

Guy:
Yeah,

Matt:
looking forward to getting back in some ways. Well, we’ll see, uh, on the next venture, whatever,

Guy:
I,

Matt:
that is. I haven’t plugged into it yet.

Guy:
yeah. No, it’s Melbourne, mate. We we’re doing a full, full day event in Melbourne.

Matt:
Okay. Yeah,

Guy:
That’d be next in May,

Matt:
fantastic.

Guy:
Bali in June. If anyone wants to join us, gosh, it’s there.

Matt:
I, I should just stay here, mate. I wish I could. Oh my God, so good. Uh,

Guy:
All right, everyone. Thanks buddy.

Matt:
thanks mate, appreciate it. See

Guy:
Yeah, thanks, legend. Cheers. Bye-Bye.

Matt:
bye.