Please note, this is an automated transcript so it is not 100% accurate.

Guy:
You can be surrounded by people. You can be busy, needed, have roles. You can be successful, achieve so much, and still feel deeply lonely. the deepest loneliness isn’t always from the absence of others. It’s actually from the absence of self. if that resonates with you at any level, know that there is a way back, and that’s what this podcast is about today.

Guy:
I remember even having, uh, Gabor Mate on the podcast a few years ago, and he spoke of loneliness being a pandemic. A pandemic that’s driven by disconnection and trauma. And amazingly, when you think in a world of so much information and so much instantaneous connection that we can still feel so disconnected back within ourselves. By the way, I’ll, I’ll link to Gabor Mate’s podcast in the show notes below if you wanna check that out. It’s, when I think of absence. Not only a loneliness of absence of people, it can be absence of self-worth. That was a big one for me. Self love, self contact and inner truth.

But for me, the reason why I wanted to speak to loneliness, uh, in this solo episode today, and from what I’ve seen is because it, it really resonates deep with my heart because that was my default emotion that I’ve felt for many, many years. I had a loving family. I have still do, have a loving family. Uh, but growing up in Wales, there was always an element of. This feeling of isolation and loneliness and I couldn’t shake it. And what was happening was, as I grew into my teens and twenties, what I noticed was many people, uh, through that age demographic, through, you know, that younger exploration would turn into drugs, going to rave parties, they were, uh, drinking alcohol.

Binge drinking is pretty big in Wales as well. And getting kind of borrowed into how we are supposed to be living our life through cultural, norms. my default escapism was actually travel. ’cause at somewhere in my life I wired that I can go searching for my happiness and there must be something going on to why I feel like this. But I couldn’t actually articulate it at the time and whenever I found myself settling into, an infrastructure, if you like, like getting a job and, and getting a place to live and everything. This huge empty vacuum and feeling would overcome me in a way. And this thought of actually committing to anything terrified me.

And it kept me lonely, and it kept me disconnected from the reality of the world. So I couldn’t evolve my relationships. I couldn’t evolve a career. I couldn’t evolve my financial situations. All of these things were. We’re leaning in because there was something internal I couldn’t put my finger on, and I actually thought I was broken. I thought I was slowly getting more and more depressed and it was just like this V vacuum that was continually sucking the life outta me very slowly. And as, as it got too much, I would then go and travel again and move around. Does that resonate? Does that make sense? But the biggest aha moment for me was realizing that what if that loneliness, that emotion wasn’t me, and it wasn’t even mine.

And underneath that loneliness there was a, a, a resonance, if you like, something perpetuating. Those environments and conditions that were then conditioning me to focus on the external world. ’cause I was very easy to be anti, you know, um, establishment government, how the system is so bad, complaining about all the things in life and all that was doing was perpetuating the internal world that I hadn’t even articulated or put my. Uh, my awareness too. So what it was, what it actually boiled down to was a lack of self worth. there was an inherent feeling underneath all that, that I wasn’t worthy. And interestingly enough, when I started to identify with that we are not our thoughts, we are not our feelings, and the body keeps the score that it’s like an informational blueprint, and with that information, these programs can be changed then my life.

Started to change. So I’ll give you an example of this. So I also had, um, a podcast on with Robbie Holz, the Secrets of Aboriginal Healing, another great podcast, which I’ll link in the show notes before. But she referenced this, mice study, which I’ve gone and checked with, chat GPT did exist. And what they did with these mice was that they, loved the scent of cherry blossoms. So when they would give them the scent of cherry blossom and the mice would get excited, they would actually give them a mild electric shock and traumatize the mouse. So what they found, they were conditioning the mice to actually be fearful of the scent of cherry blossom. But then the offspring of the mice, the moment they smelled.

Cherry blossom, they would go into a traumatic, experience as well. So it goes to show that this can be passed down. Or certain shows, certain elements of the study. Now, what you have to remind as well, not only through my own life’s experience and through studies, uh, like I’m just referencing off the top of my head here, also, within hour of live and flow retreats and events, I have now been in front of thousands and thousands of thousands of people, and you start to see core patterns and you start to see. How these things start to identify. Now we only identify with the physical aspects and the emotions and the feelings that are there, but there are energetic components underneath that are actually shaping the way we feel and shaping the way we think and we don’t know it now, interestingly enough, something to self-inquiry with is that what I found in my own journey, there was something like being met underneath all that loneliness. Okay? And for whatever reason, my body had figured out a way to say, I feel safe in this shape of unworthiness, because I didn’t wanna be vulnerable. I didn’t want to be seen. unconsciously that is consciously you go, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Muscles through things, but my body underneath all that was feeling a certain, way, so then I was shaping my environment to continue to make sure my body was, keeping these emotional states intact because it identified itself of feeling safe that way, if that makes sense as well. Another, uh, podcast episode that, uh. Comes to mind as well is with very Jeremy, uh, Pospisil. I hope I was, remember his, uh, name correctly. And what was fascinating with Jeremiah was that, uh, he had a near death experience, I think, I believe he was in the military and he was a man at this extremely lowest point in his life. He, you know, was close to suicide. He was, um, drinking a lot of alcohol. And again, it was another example of using everything external to try and fill this internal emotional state that he couldn’t put his finger on. And he got so bad that one night he ended up, um, going down the motorway at 70 miles per hour on a motorbike without a helmet on, and recklessly drove off and had a full.

Near death experience, which he explains as well. And he had this, this connection with the divine source. But, and the take home message was for him was that he was to become the purpose. So what he realized was when he come back was that he lacked. But any identity, he didn’t know who he was when he took all the, the roles away from who he was playing in his life, the guy in the military, the guy in the construction, the guy, the father, the husband, or whatever roles that we play. When there was getting a strip back, he actually didn’t know who he was. And it all stemmed then from feeling not worthy of being any of them. So when he realized that he could start to love himself again and start to create, uh. Environments of self-love. His life started to change. So become the purpose.

It’s almost like the purpose is the moment. It’s not something we chase. So with that in mind. When you start to explore these things, um, loneliness can start to soften. the charge behind it can start to shift. It’s like once we start getting to the root, to the core of that energetic imprint. ’cause I know for a fact as I’ve been exploring this work for a long time, a lot of this stuff was not mine. It was ancestral. You could even say past lives if you want to go down that route too, which I believe in personally, but that’s just my personal belief, that energetic component of certain states of being, yes, there was trauma within my own life, absolutely.

And challenges, but also there were things that were inherently passed down through generation to generation that just simply weren’t mine and. The key is though, is not to get attached to any of the story, whose it is, is it mine? Is there anything else? The key is, is just to recognize that it’s energy and it can be shifted, and if we shift those energetic states, we then shift the presence of the body and it brings us back into more harmony, more coherence and, more. State of being that we then start to shift how we perceive everything and our emotional state and our thinking state tends to shift from that perspective. I hope that makes sense. I’m going off the cuff here. I’m not just reading a transcript or anything here. De I do keep referring to my, my notes over here as well.

So to unwind all of that, once I started to really understand that, that gave me hope and that got me excited. Then I could start to lean into the exploration of self. And one of the paradoxes as well is that the slower you go, the faster you get there. In some ways, you can’t race this, you can’t chase this. It’s about starting to become present and really bring that presence into your daily life constantly. And it’s normally the. Busyness. The striving, the achieving, all those aspects, the roles that we play are keeping us distracted from what our body is trying to communicate with us from that. I’m not saying not to achieve, I love achieving things, but. There’s a time in where we, we need to start surrendering into what is accepting what is, and then we start moving from that. We have, in one of our core teachings, we have the four pillars, which is awareness first. So you developing the awareness to what’s going on.

So we realize that we know there are emotions, we’re not our thoughts, and then we start to lean into the acceptance of those things that are arisen, which can be very challenging and can be very triggering as well. But once we start to see the wisdom in the. Past pain, we can really start to, uh, accept and make associate a different meaning to what has happened, to create a different vantage point for the future. And then we get excited by it, and then we move into intention, what that intention behind it, and then into inspired action. So we start moving through life through a different vantage point. You know, I’m trying to fit this into a 15 minute podcast that’s taken me. 10, 15, 20 years to bloody figure out, and it’s still going that way as well.

So, but the goal is, is to inspire you to know that you’re not broken. If you are feeling these certain states, they can be changed because I’ve seen it, I’ve done it in my own life and that’s why I bang the drum. That’s why I have a podcast. That’s why I run retreats. That’s why we do events. Because it can shift. And all I want for people is to know that they have the power within themselves to create the shifts as well within it. All right? And I kind of look myself as a, as a guide or a spiritual doorman where we can support you. This is how I did it. This is how we doing it. And if you step in, this is just a way, it’s not the only way. It’s just a way, So there’s those things in mind. The other thing I wanna bring back to is the connections. So we always talk about connection. Uh, we are starving for connection really at the end of the may, but a connection to self. So just pondered on these, even write these down if you want to. And the first question you need to ask yourself is, can I be with myself?

Honestly? So can you take time for yourself each day and just be okay? Get off all social media, everything, and just be with yourself and be honest with yourself. Just start to explore that and see what starts to arise. Then connection to others is another big part of our core work. So then from connection to self, we lean into connection to others and connection to self. Can I let myself be seen? And not just liked most of the time, how often are we doing things and we’re just seeking approval or validation from someone else to make us feel worthy inside. What about just being authentically who we are? See what that starts to bring up for you. Okay. And what that’s bringing up then is great because that’s what we know needs to be resolved and healed.

Connection to life, connection to nature, big components, nature of course. Do I feel part of something living? Or do I feel disconnected from that as well because they all trickle into each other. Right. And I, I get so much joy out of being in nature and connecting and having moments, not only with my family and that, but these still moments and, and it actually gives me inspiration in life through that. But it’s ’cause I’ve deepened the connection to myself and connection to spirit and soul are big components as well of what we do. So is there meaning. Belonging and inner orientation in my life. Am I using my head or my heart as my compass to guide me? These are great aspects, and as we start to burrow into all of these workings, then the truth will start to reveal itself and that’s all we want at the end of the day.

’cause then we can address what needs to be addressed and then we can move, uh, forward in our life. So I’ve got a quote here that I want to read out. ’cause I, I was quite, um, when I was having a moment of inspiration earlier, it says, loneliness begins to soften when we stop trying to be more impressive, more productive, and more lovable, and start becoming more honest, more present, are more connected to what is real. Nothing is wrong with you. Ah. Maybe something old is asking to be seen, felt, and released, reveal, feel, and heal. Okay, so here’s a few things to try for a takeaway for this podcast while I wrap it up. First one, sit with this question. Uh, what am I carrying that may not have started with me? Notice where you seek validation instead of connection. Big ones. Try and spend five to 10 minutes in stillness every day without numbing or without distracting. Sit with it with the loneliness. Sit with what’s there. Okay. This is a challenging one. Reach out to someone, one person, honestly. And really hold a space from the heart while being honest.

And another thing to practice, which I I used to lean into a lot, was practice one. Small act of human connection today. Yeah, it could be eye contact, could be hello, looking into their eyes, an act of kindness, an expression of love and truth. Like genuinely connect to someone. When we’re feeling lonely and depressed and shamed or whatever, these are under the surface and we mask all those emotions. We tend to isolate. We tend to keep things. To ourselves. Trust me as a man, I know that, you know, I know for like the suicide rate men at the moment is off the charts from what I understand, you know? Anyway, it’s on another tangent, so there’s plenty of practices there for you as well. And of course if you wanna dive deeper with what we do, we hold retreats around the world.

Five day retreats, bringing people together. They’re absolutely beautiful and they have massive impact. And we start to rework the nervous system, rewire the body, the energetics, and that gives us a different foundation to be moving forward. we also online have, uh, a 21 day awareness challenge. That is a beautiful place to start. If you are new to this work or wanna dip your toe in the 21 day awareness challenge. Can be found in a monthly inner, a self mastery, there’ll be links below for that as well. these are all great places, but the key is, is that you’ve got to, you’ve gotta say yes to yourself. You’ve got to create a presence and a willingness.

And the only reason I’m here today is ’cause I, I have, uh, a, uh, seek mentors and guides and people with deeper wisdom than myself. To guide me along the way, and that’s why I’m so passionate and do what I do. So if those things resonate, come and join us. Come and check those things out as well. And, uh, see, here you go. We also will be running live webinars once a month. check, uploading, subscribe to our newsletter. See when they are. and those live webinars teach our transformational pyramid as well as from a foundation of awareness to all the way to the very top of the pyramid, to really embodying and the sole solution by being guided by spirit while we’re living and existing on the 3D plane. Anyway, let me know in the comments, uh, hopefully you found this helpful today. I’m gonna try and pop these solo podcasts, uh, podcasts out once a month and it’s nice to connect with you in a different way. Much love from me and catch you soon.

Guy:
I am standing here right now in Lake Topo in a beautiful retreat space, and there’s a vast difference between an intellectual experience and passive listening to a fully embodied lived experience. ’cause that’s what retreats can do. They can help you land, start to truly reconnect to yourself. To others, to nature and to spirit as well. There’s so much in it. That’s why we created Live and Flow, and that’s why we are so passionate about getting this work out there and bringing people together. If you wanna find out more when our next retreat or event is coming up, just check out the link below