Please note, this is an automated transcript so it is not 100% accurate.

Kute:
For two years, I was pitching this talk show guy, and I literally did everything possible to make the show happen. Everything. I mean, I went to Steven Spielberg’s house, found Steven Spielberg, David Geffen, met four billionaires, found Richard Branson on the street. Pitch, I mean, you name it, I did it. And it’s like, it hasn’t happened. And so I just threw my arms up and I said, You’ve got to show me what I’m here to do. And so I had certain spiritual experiences and awakenings, some would say, in India that changed me.

Guy:
Hey, Guy here, my epic guest today is Kute Blackson, and I gotta say his upbringing was fascinating. He was exposed to spirituality from a very young age through his own journey. The theme of the conversation that really comes out of this, I guess, is finding what truly is your heart and soul is calling you forward to do, not so much what other people expect you to do. And I don’t know about you, but I certainly have gone through many rites of passage in my life when it comes to these things and honoring what actually wants to come from the heart, not the head or the expectations from others and surrendering into that. If that resonates with you, then you will get a lot out of this conversation today. I hope to meet you in person someday, somewhere. Always great to meet fellow podcast listeners and that. And of course, if you enjoy these, please be sure to share it with a loved one, a friend, and help us get the word out there. Much love from me, and I will catch you soon. Kute, welcome to the podcast.

Kute:
Thanks for having me.

Guy:
I’m interested, because we’re speaking off-air and you’re living in LA at the moment, and if a complete stranger, let’s say you were at a cocktail party, and asked you what you did for a living right now, what would you say?

Kute:
Typically, I’d just give a simple answer, and I’d just say, you know, I’m an author, I’m a speaker, and I write books. you know, because at a cocktail party, I don’t know if people are ready to go so deep. Because when I start going there, their eyes lit up, you know, so I just didn’t say I write books. And within two best selling books, you are the one the magic of surrender and help people transform. And if they want to go deeper, and I see something, then we can have a deeper conversation as to like what I really do, which is, you I help people transform, I create processes and experiences, I’ve done so for 20 plus years that help people peel away the layers of their conditioning. I uncondition people, I un-teach, I un-coach, I untrain people from the layers of their conditioning. of conditioning that we all have, that we all build up, that prevent us from being connected to our truth, the love that we are, the fullness of our potential and our gifts, and help people reconnect to who they are and share that with the world, in essence. Seminars, live events, retreats.

Guy:
yeah beautiful i’m sure you’d be they’d be pretty receptive over there though wouldn’t they in in general for the kind of work that you teach and do yes for sure for sure for sure yeah why transformation where’s your passion come from because like looking into your into your work and your past. You’ve got quite an interesting upbringing. That really drew me to inviting you on the show. Do you mind going back and just sharing a little bit about your early childhood and things like that? Because that clearly seems to be a stepping stone into a lot of things.

Kute:
Yeah, just for a bit of background, I was born in Ghana. My father’s from Ghana, my mother’s Japanese. I grew up in London. I spent most of my childhood in London from three to 18. And I never felt like I was from anywhere. And I think that set the foundation of my life too, in that I never thought I was from Africa. I’d go to Africa and I’d be a foreigner in Ghana. And so I didn’t feel African, Ghanaian. I go to Japan, obviously. not quite Japanese, even though I looked like my mother a bit. And so I didn’t feel fully Japanese. And then I was in London, I didn’t feel fully British. So I think at a young age, it was a source of a bit of pain where I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere. I didn’t feel like I was from anywhere. I didn’t feel like, where is home? What is my nature? What is my identity? What am I really? People could say, oh, I’m English, I’m Welsh. What the hell am I? I don’t even freaking know. And I didn’t see many people in my schooling that had this diversity. And so I think that feeling of being an outsider also is what began to, on an unconscious level, drive me to question, what am I? Who am I? Who am I really? And so that began a questioning at a young age. And so my childhood was a bit, Unusual in a certain way, I didn’t know it was unusual, and I think that was a blessing too. In that, like my first memories as a young boy, I remember seeing a crippled woman crawling on the floor. She picks up the gravel that this man walks on, wipes it on her face, stands up. You could call that a miracle. Week after week, I grew up seeing blind people see and deaf people hear. And, you know, The man whose gravel she picked up was my father, and my father would look at a woman in a wheelchair. And he would say, why are you in this wheelchair? Stand up. You’re not sick. And he would put his hands on them and they would stand up and be healed. Somebody would come in with crutches and he would look at them and say, hey, do you believe? Well, yes. Why do you have crutches? Throw your crutches away. And I’d be this little kid looking at this. And this was like every week.

Guy:
Was this in Ghana or London?

Kute:
This was in Ghana and London. But this was in London primarily, but when we go back to Ghana, the same thing would happen. And so my father was considered a miracle man of Africa, came to London when I was three, and built 300 churches in Ghana, a huge church in London, 4,000 to 5,000 people every Sunday at the height in London, hundreds of thousands of people in Ghana. And, you know, he was a very mystical guy. By the time I was born, he had been to India, had a spiritual awakening, maybe some would call it a Kundalini enlightenment experience in some caves in the Himalayas, came back, yet had a Christian church, and didn’t renounce, denounces, you know, renounces Christian church, kept it, but his philosophy became very metaphysical, very spiritual, very, for more from the standpoint of like, Jesus wasn’t just this guy. He realized his Christ nature and the Christ consciousness is something that we can all activate and awaken within us, you know, and so my father was very spiritual. And so as a young boy, I grew up in this context where my mother being Japanese was Buddhist, I got meditating with her going to we went all went to church every Sunday. And, my father had probably a thousand spiritual books on his bookshelf and that began my spiritual path also of more conscious seeking where I would go to his bookshelf and take his books and I began at the age of eight, age of nine, age ten reading books on Krishnamurti and Osho to the Eastern mystics, to the Western mystics, to the Western folks of like Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Marianne Williamson, Deepak Chopra, Tony Robbins, Brian Tracy, motivational guys, Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn. And for me, this became my obsession. It became my passion as a kid. This was my life. For me, this was… I dreamt it, I ate it, I’d go to school, I’d be reading self-help books on the train, I’d be studying self-help material, I’d be reading Osho, trying to meditate, reading autobiography of a yogi as a 10, 11-year-old kid, just trying to understand life, like, who am I, where do we come from? So at age eight, my speaking career began in that my father threw me in the audience and said, speak. And that’s when I had at the age of eight. Yeah. And that’s when I had this experience. And I wasn’t like a mystical kid. I was more interested in playing soccer, but he just threw me in the audience. And that’s when. something opened and I can’t tell you what it was at the time, but all I knew was I was on stage and something came through and people were moved. And that began, that’s where you could say a bit of a spiritual path began. And every few weeks, few months, he would throw me on stage and say, speak. And I would speak and stuff came through. And so when I was 14, At that point I was very much consciously seeking and trying to understand and so my father ordained me as a minister and I became a minister in my father’s church. Everyone was happy but me because I didn’t feel that the ministry and the structure of religion or the church was my path. But I didn’t know another way, and so I was too afraid to say anything directly, because my fear was if I spoke my truth, then I’m gonna lose my dad, then I’m going to be outcast, then I’m going to be abandoned, I’m going to be alone, and what am I doing with my life? But I felt something deep inside me moving me to, help people, you know, to make a difference. So from 14 to 18, I was a minister, and I tried to fit myself into this box of who I thought I should be. And it was a very challenging few years of my life as a young kid, obviously, but also as a minister with responsibility and people looking to me and my father and a lot of pressure. And when I was 18, I prayed. And I said, God guide me. And that’s when I got a very clear soul guidance to leave the ministry. And that’s when I basically looked into my future and I saw that I chose not to go to university. I knew I wanted to help people. I saw that there was a different way to help people, which was more through retreats and seminars. Tony Robbins, Marianne, Louise Hay, all these people are helping people through seminars and in hotel rooms. And I’m like, wow, there was a whole different way. And so I think sometimes what your soul guides you to do doesn’t always make sense to your mind. It doesn’t always make sense to your logic, isn’t always convenient. And I was terrified, I was scared. But when I looked into my future, the alternative was I take over my father’s church, I continue down the path, the life trajectory that was mapped out for me. And when I looked into the future, I saw that I could be successful. But if I don’t have myself, if I don’t have my soul, if I don’t have my integrity, if I don’t have my truth, What the hell do I have? To me, that’s not success. You cannot be truly fulfilled and happy being someone that you’re not and living someone else’s life. And that’s when I knew what I had to do. And so at 18, I renounced everything, basically left the ministry, renounced everything, knew that I had to have that conversation with my father, knew this would be challenging. I had the conversation. We didn’t speak for, two years which was devastating devastating for me but i knew that there was something bigger than me that was pulling something bigger than me and my soul that was calling me and uh long story short i ended up winning winning a green card in a green card lottery that brought me to the US, that brought me to America. Two suitcases, $800 in my pocket at 18 and landed in Los Angeles. Why LA? Because LA was the spiritual Mecca. All of the authors I read, they lived in LA, San Diego. And so I thought this is the place to be. And that’s what brought me to the US.

Guy:
Did you have any connections in the US at the time? Nothing.

Kute:
This was before the internet, before Facebook. It would be much easier now. There was no social media, no computers. I just came following a dream and with a map, literally a physical map of LA and didn’t know a soul. The first person I met in the US was a taxi driver. And I told the guy, take me somewhere safe and cheap where I can stay for a few days, a few weeks. And ended up in Venice Beach and cried my eyes out for about two weeks. And that began my journey in America and wanted to go back. Sometimes people think that when you find your purpose, or calling in life, that is easy. The violins play and the unicorns come. I think sometimes when you find your purpose is when the real tests and the real difficulties begin, like soul tests that you have to go through so you have to grow through these things in order to develop the mental, the emotional, the spiritual muscle to become capable of fulfilling the dream and vision that you have. And so many people give up, many people think that they’re on the wrong path, when they’re really on the right path, they just have to go through this tunnel of preparation. And so the first few years were difficult, but that was my beginning.

Guy:
So what happened then? I’m 48 now, right? So I can look back and look at part of my last 20, 25 years and go, whoa, there’s a fair few lessons of wisdom. I think we all do, right? As we age through life. So, I would imagine you would come to us, to the US with a kind of expectation or this is how it’s going to go, this is how I’m going to do it, potentially, or was you just completely green?

Kute:
Man, you know, I think back to myself, what was I thinking? Because I really didn’t have, you know, there wasn’t much exposure to do research online and the internet was just not even there yet. And so, all I knew was my soul was guiding me. Go to America. Go and find all of these authors that you read about. Go find Louise Hay. Go find Chopra. Go find them. Study from them. Learn from them. And I wanted to go into this field and write books. And that’s all I knew. Beyond that, I had knew nothing. And so I went and literally found these people. I went to their events. I knocked on Jack Canfield, you know, Jack Canfield, chicken soup for the soul, knocked on his door, just showed up green, thinking somehow he would know me. I don’t know what I was thinking and talked my way into meeting him, showed up at offices of certain folks and just Here I am, Margarita Hanson, here I am. There was an amazing woman, she’s passed away now. She was the, probably in the 70s and 80s, 90s, the iconic speakers bureau. She booked all of the speakers, Dottie Walters. And I read her book, Speak and Grow Rich was her book. And so I read her book and there was an address in the back. So I just went to the address, caught the bus, went to the address, man. Didn’t know it was a house in the middle of some suburb of Arcadia or somewhere. And I’m knocking on this foreign guy in the suburb is knocking on her door. And she was so kind, man. She was a bit shocked, but I explained who I was and I wanted to be the speaker. took me into her living room, sat me down, spent a couple of hours just talking. I mean, this is a woman that booked a lot of the icons, Les Brown, Brian Tracy, Nightingale, Konak, and all these, she booked all these guys when the self-help industry was kind of beginning, Norman Vincent Peale. And so she sat me down and just gave me advice and gave me her wisdom and let me come to some of her events for free and I would sort of, a sister at the back of the room, and through the kindness of certain folks, just began my path. And one thing led to the next thing, and that’s how I believe, like, you don’t have to have, I didn’t have anything figured out. Like, one thing led to the next, where, it’s interesting, I bought a little television. Sounds like a small thing, but it was like a cheap TV from a garage sale, and I hooked it up. And there was an infomercial, when infomercials were big in the US, like, ah, it’s make money, the American dream. I went to this conference, and I didn’t have money to pay for the program that they were selling. So I got a phone call to the landline. This woman says she met me there, she had my business card. I didn’t have any business cards, so it’s impossible that she meets me there. And she tries to sell me on this network marketing, multi-level marketing deal. I don’t have any money. This is why I came to America, to meet all of these self-help guys. She says, oh, I have a friend who’s involved with this multi-level marketing company. I get a phone call from this other woman. She tells me that all of these self-help guys are part of the faculty of this multi-level marketing company. I say to her, I’m in. And so I joined this multi-level marketing company. Again, long story short, through that experience, I got to meet all of these folks, Les Brown, Brian Tracy, Jim Rohn. And that opened up a whole new world of possibilities again. But it was unplanned, you know, unintended. There was just the pure intention of, I want to go into this field. I just want to help people. There was no strategy or planning to it. And just one thing after the next thing unfolded. And yeah.

Guy:
Didn’t you end up going back to or going to India to study at one point? Yeah.

Kute:
What had happened was after a couple of years of being in the US, in Los Angeles specifically, I didn’t know anything about Hollywood. I met a guy who became like a brother, a little crazy guy, but he became like an older brother. who’s like, oh my God, you have so much potential. You could be the next Oprah. I’m like, who’s Oprah? Oh, Oprah. And so I started watching Oprah. And I thought, oh, I wanna have a talk show. I wanna be like Oprah, where I can take the self-help stuff and translate it to the masses, basically. And so I remember at 21, coming up with this TV show concept. of a talk show, right? And I began pitching the show, like I didn’t know anybody in Hollywood, and I began pitching the show. And I literally went and found, I probably knocked on hundreds of doors and got a hundred rejections, got laughed at. I tracked down Steven Spielberg, tracked down the heads of William Morris CA, I mean, literally just knocked on doors and got kicked out of, walked into restaurants where they were. And many things happened, but one time I had an opportunity to attract down these managers. They managed Michael Jackson, Mariah Carey, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Lopez, Dolly Parton, the Backstreet Boys. And I said, these are the guys that want to manage me. I got in so many rejections that I wasn’t sure that they would really, but somehow I met with them, I got a meeting, and they looked at each other and they said, you’re going to be huge, we’re gonna make you huge. Come back tomorrow, here’s the contract, we’re gonna start pitching you. And I went home, guy, and I went home, I said, let me meditate on it, I meditated on it, and everything inside of my gut and being said no. No, there was a clear no. This was the same kind of feeling I got that had always been guiding me throughout my life. Leave your father’s church, enter the green card lottery. So this same knowing was the knowing and I knew when I listened to this, things tend to go well. When I don’t listen to this, things tend to not go so well. And so I was mad. I was pissed off. My ego was frustrated because I felt like I finally got this opportunity. And here I have this clear guidance is like, don’t, don’t sign. And so I grieved, I cried a little pissed off. I told these guys, I’m not going to do it because my guidance is telling me, no, they were furious. They couldn’t believe it. That’s what sent me into a, funk, basically, an ego tantrum and a funk where I just said, God, I don’t know what the hell you want from me anymore. Because I’ve tried everything to make my dreams happen. And I got a clear guidance, no. So I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore. And I went into a bit of a funk. And I decided Basically, I said, then God, I want to know what my purpose is in life and what I’m here to do, because clearly it’s not what I thought. And that’s when I got a guidance to walk the Camino. So what ended up happening is I put everything in storage, broke up with my girlfriend, and I said, I’m not coming back to America. until I find answers for myself. Look, I want to know the truth about who I am and why I’m here and what my purpose is. And that’s when I walked the Camino and that someone, when I was walking the Camino, which is a 900 kilometer trek in Northern Spain, they said, go to India. And so I came back to the US, went to India for four months. And I was determined to not come back. And it was when I shaved my head, took a backpack, a pair of clothes, and I started traipsing around India just trying to find answers. I met with spiritual guru after guru in jungles and mountains and ashrams, just what is the nature of life? Why am I here? Who am I? And it was my time in India that kind of cracked me open to a deeper sense of who I am. And I was forced to surrender in certain ways in India that I basically gave up, you know, it was not giving, it was a surrender where I just kind of like let go of all ambition. And I said to God, I said, If you want me to clean the streets and be a street cleaner, and that’s my purpose, then if that is it, then I will do that. But just make it clear to me what I’m here to do, because I don’t know. I thought it was this talk show thing. I mean, for two years, I was pitching this talk show guy. And I literally did everything possible to make the show happen. Everything. I mean, I went to Steven Spielberg’s house, found Steven Spielberg, met David Geffen, met four billionaires, found Richard Branson on the street. I mean, you name it, I did it. And it’s like, it hasn’t happened. And so I just threw my arms up and I said, you’ve got to show me what I’m here to do. And so I had certain spiritual experiences and awakenings, some would say, in India that changed me and transformed me, you know? And that’s when I decided, that’s when I was guided to come back to, four months later, come back to America. And didn’t know what I was going to do, but people started saying, something about you is different. Like, what’s the deal? Like, you look different. I had no money, no relationship, no nothing, sleeping on friends’ couches, and I felt so at peace. Like, I felt free. You know, cellphone, we attribute our free, I’m free based on my title. I’m free because of my bank account. I’m free because I got the Ferrari, the thing. I had nothing, man. I didn’t know how the hell I was going to eat, I felt such a peace, genuinely a peace that I’ve never felt and people started coming and I just started having conversations and one person, another person. I coached one guy and then he made it, give me a donation, you know, and another guy, and it just something organically began where again, I had no idea what I was doing. Didn’t plan on being a coach. Coaching wasn’t even a thing at that point in America. Tony Robbins was like the coach, but it wasn’t a thing. And organically one person showed up and I would talk to people and before you know it, This is when it really started, when a guy showed up, and I kind of was coaching in the traditional one-dimensional sense of what most coaches are today, like success coaching, advice giving. And then one guy showed up at my doorstep, finally got an apartment. The neighbor brought her ex-boyfriend and said he has lost $250,000 in the last two days in Las Vegas, and he’s addicted to prostitutes, alcohol, cocaine, and gambling. Can you help him? All I heard come out of my mouth, it wasn’t me, it was like, yes, bring him on Monday. This was Saturday. And then the next 24 hours were like, oh shit, what now? And that’s when again, I said a prayer and I got this kind of download of a specific kind of process that I was to create to help this guy. And that’s when my coaching in quotation marks, the real work of what I do was birth because it was structured a bit more. And that’s what became uncoaching. And I took this guy through a process. And his life changed, like in a month his life changed. And then people started coming, he referred people and people started coming. And then you could say my real work and the real form of my work began at that point.

Guy:
Thank you for sharing. I’m curious to probe into, I mean, I don’t know how much you want to share about it, but your experiences in India, because you talk about being cracked wide open and having spiritual experiences. Are you able to elaborate on that a little bit? I feel as well for people that, especially when we’re living in our lives, we might have kids, we do different things. As we go through life and our responsibilities grow, sometimes we can lean onto that and say, well, I can’t go and do that, so I’m not going to do anything. You know what I mean? And it’s all right for you because you’ve had this, you went and did that. Does that make sense?

Kute:
You know, I’ve evolved a lot since then. And so I had certain spiritual, in India, I had certain experiences where, like somehow India, at least for me, made me look at my ego and all the places I hold on to for control, and somehow ripped all those things. The moment I landed, It was total chaos at the train station. I hated it. I wanted to leave. Everything I thought was, wasn’t. I felt totally out of control. Trains being delayed. Just being forced to look at all the ways I control life because India just is its own rhythm. It’s its own frequency. It’s its own animal, its own dimension. And so that was that. In India, I I had certain experiences where I literally faced death a couple of times when I was in a car and had this car accident and basically was sure I was gonna die. And that was a pretty profound experience. I had another experience where I was climbing the Himalayas and eight hours climbing the Himalayas to the source of the Ganges. and started hallucinate, vomiting, diarrhea, hallucinating, thought I caught some disease, sure I was going to die. Went through this process of speaking to my parents and those I loved and, you know, like, I’m going to die. This is it. And somehow lived. only to realize the day later it was altitude sickness. But the experience of death in that moment was very real to me. It’s like, oh shit, this is how it happens, you know? And that was really profound. That altered me in terms of life. Because something happens when, I think so many of us as human beings, we’re afraid of dying. I was terrified of dying. And I think you don’t truly get to live until you face death and transcend the fear of death in knowing who you are. Because we’re so conditioned to believe that we are just this ego, this mind, this personality, our thoughts, our belief systems, this body. And that when this body dies, this is it. And so I think for me, somehow being forced to face death was very profound. really profound and there were certain spiritual experiences that I had. It’s hard to explain the experience because it was an internal experience but I remember every day for about a month I was in Rishikesh in India. This is made famous by the Beatles, you know, because they spent time in Rishikesh with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, who had an ashram there. And I would run up and down the Ganges. I would jog up and down the Ganges for like an hour every day. And then I would sit on the Ganges for the next hour and cool down. And I would meditate and sit and just breathe. And there was sometimes yogis and sadhus wandering and have conversations with these guys. And so one day I was sitting meditating. and I was looking at the river, and I don’t know what happened, but it was like time dissolved, and it was like looking at all the waves that were undulating into each other. It happened in a second. It wasn’t like this linear experience that I’m explaining, but it was as though seeing how we are all one river, and it wasn’t a logic. It was just a moment where we’re all one river, seemingly individual waves, but the illusion is that we are separate and how we are one river flowing from the same source to the same place and there is really no separation from one wave over here to one wave over there to one wave over here and where does one wave end and where does one wave begin. It was just this sort of inner revelation of the one, the inherent oneness of our being, that there is no separation, but it was like this inner experience, inner something, a kind of experience, just realization. And I remember just feeling so filled with love. in the recognition that there’s like, I’m not separate from you. And I would, I remember looking around, I’m 21, 22, looking around going, holy shit, I’m you, you are, I’m you, I’m you. And it was just this revelation of like, crying and wanting to feeling so much overwhelming love. And just wanting to hug people, you know, in India, you don’t kind of do that. So I was just running up to people hugging people uncontrollably. And so something awakened in me in that moment as well. And there were many different experiences that happened. But that was one of them. I remember one of the first that I remember that that opened something. And life wasn’t the same after that, you know.

Guy:
Yeah, beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I appreciate that. You’re very, you know, looking at your work now and the books that you write on truth and surrender. And they’re two huge topics, I believe. And quite often we’re very fearful of our truth. Yeah. Or we don’t own our truth. Yeah. Voice our truth, live our truth, action our truth. And then, of course, surrender. And I know surrender can be perceived as giving up as well in some minds. Why write books on those? What brings them to the forefront for you?

Kute:
You know, I did not plan to write the book about surrender. That’s the funny thing. And I didn’t want to write a book about surrender, didn’t think about it, didn’t plan, it was not my intention. My first book came out, which is a whole nother story, but it came out, was a bestseller, national bestseller. So, I’ll be honest, I wanted to be intelligent, and I wanted to be strategic, and I wanted to like, okay, now, I kind of understand publishing, and I’m going to, I’m gonna, like, I’m gonna create a real best, like, you know, the subtle art of not giving a, you know, the magical art of tidying up mega bestsellers. Like, how can I study these as a template and make the title, the concept, and I remember strategizing for weeks. And I came up with like 75 different titles and ideas. that all were very intelligent and smart. And none of those, if I’m honest, I could not look you in the eyes with total integrity and tell you, I feel it inside me. None of those were aligned. The only word that I wrote on this whiteboard was the word surrender. And that’s where all the energy was. And I thought to myself, oh shit, that’s, that’s, I could feel the call. It was bigger than me again. It was this inner pull of, this is the book. I didn’t know what it would look like. There was no, it was, and it was undeniable. I thought I can lie to myself, but the truth is I write about truth. The truth is this is where the pull is. This is where the energy is. This is where the integrity is. And so I had to go through a process of surrendering to the book about surrender and through my own ego resistance saying this is the book that is seeking to be written and and surrendering to the book that is seeking to be written and realizing i was not the one that was to write the book the book had a soul of its own and and it was really about allowing it to come through and when i surrendered that’s when everything unfolded you know everything kind of came into deeper alignment and clarity. I had to live surrender in preceding the book, during the book, after the book. When you write a book about surrender, man, It felt like the universe put me through a washing machine of purification of my own, you know, layers of my ego that I wasn’t even seeing, to really be able to like, understand nuances, the different nuances of surrender. And, you know, part of why I resisted too is, is There’s so many misconceptions about surrender in our culture today. We kind of know we should surrender in spiritual circles, but it’s like going to the dentist. I kind of want to, but I… Even if we’re in the process, there is sometimes an unconscious resistance. The ego, that which we mistakenly perceive ourselves to be, tends to resist surrender. It’s the process of life. If we didn’t, we’d all be awakened, we’d all be enlightened, we’d all be Buddhas, but there’s this resistance that’s there. And that was my fear of like, would people want to read this? It’s kind of like looking at your own death, reading about your own death. And so I think there’s so many misconceptions about surrender. Surrender is weak. Surrender is passive. Surrender is giving up. Surrender is waving the white flag. Surrender is being a doormat. Surrender means you’re gonna be taken advantage of. Surrender means you won’t manifest your goals. You’re gonna get less. And so as I surrendered to this book, I got very excited. And everything about my life and childhood and everything started to make sense. And I felt like I was designed to write this book for the new generation. And it felt just in alignment with my Dharma. And I got very excited about translating surrender for the new generation, you know, for modern day era in a simple language, because I felt like, wow, surrender is the most It’s why we’re born. It’s the process of life. It’s the most powerful thing that we can do. Surrender is the real secret to manifestation. Surrender is the real password for freedom. It’s the key to the next level of our lives. And when I really looked at the great ones, Jesus, a Buddha, Mother Teresa, a Gandhi, a Mandela, a Bruce Lee, who was a childhood hero of mine, a Muhammad Ali, At some point, they all surrendered. At some point, they all surrendered themselves to something bigger than themselves. They all surrendered themselves to that purpose that was bigger. They all surrendered themselves to life. And in that surrender, like Gandhi was a lawyer, a successful attorney. And I’m sure he had a certain plan. And I think, what if he didn’t surrender to the deeper impulse of what life was seeking to express through him? We wouldn’t know Gandhi today. Life may look very different. So he had to surrender the vision of the life he thought he was meant to live and going to live to what life was seeking to express through him. And that, to me, that’s when When we surrender, that’s when life was able to use these folks and use us to manifest through and express through in ways that I think often we cannot currently imagine from the level of our current ego’s logic, our current ego’s perspective. And so for me, surrender is a a letting go of control. It is a letting go of the illusion that we were in control in the first place. It’s a letting go of forcing and manipulating life to fit our limited idea. It’s a taking the limitations off of life so that we can open to the grace, open to being guided, open to life showing us and life in its infinite intelligence leading us. And so, yeah, it’s been an amazing process of writing about it, living it and living all the different nuances around surrender the last years.

Guy:
Yeah, beautiful. Do you feel, or I’m interested to know your beliefs around it when, you know, circumstances and things happen to us that in hindsight, we look back and think, oh, I knew I should have gone a different direction. I should have been chosen that, that things show up for us to teach us, to give us the opportunities to lean into that surrender you speak of.

Kute:
yeah i i think that yeah i think many times when things happen when we’re locked into our ego we’re often not able to understand why it’s happening in a given moment because the ego is conditioned by past experiences. So the ego is not able to see the total perspectives, the total viewpoint, all angles of a situation, and is only able to see from its limited perspective. And so many times when something happens, we assign a limited meaning on it. Oh, this is terrible, this is bad, this breakup, this thing, this is horrible, it’s the worst thing. But often only when we go through it, a year later, five years later, 10 years later, we’re able to see and understand from a different perspective, wow, I see why I need to go through that now. If everybody has an example, if everyone’s had this experience where maybe you fell in love with that person earlier on in life, and you were so madly in love with that person, and you were sure that this is the one, and it didn’t work out, and you were devastated, and you felt mad, but now you look back, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s. And you think, thank God that didn’t work out. Thank God it didn’t work out. And so many times we’re not able to see it in the moment from the ego’s perspective. And so I believe, yes, everything is ultimately working for our highest good. And ultimately we are souls. To me, we’re souls. We incarnate into this human experience. In order to learn, in order to grow, in order to evolve, that life, Metaphorically, it’s kind of like a university or a school for a soul’s evolution and everything is really our curriculum and everybody is our teacher. And if we’re a soul, we incarnate in order to learn, to grow, to evolve, to learn the lessons and to realize more of our true nature that every experience for me is really here. Ultimately, the only purpose for this incarnation, ultimately, is our evolution. That’s it. And I think when we understand that when when we can surrender to who we truly are, then we shift out of a very one dimensional way of looking at life. I’m a body, I’m an ego, I’m a person, I have these goals, the level of the goal line and what happened and what didn’t happen and the story to the deeper multi dimensional level underneath the experience in this physical reality is a soul level of Why is my soul going through this experience? And for me, part of the surrender is not just surrendering to the experience. It’s surrendering to the lesson inherent in the experience, because sometimes the experience is brutal. The experience is difficult. The experience is challenging. It’s not easy. Like, why am I going to surrender to this? But I think if we can surrender to that we’re sold and surrender to the lesson, then we’re able to learn the lesson for why we’re going through this situation, why we attracted this situation, why we’re experiencing this. And I think when we can learn the lesson on the deeper level, and not resist the lesson. That’s part of the surrender. Learn the lesson, because all lessons will just cycle and repeat until learned. And we can learn the lesson where we are with who we’re with. And that’s when I think we energetically unlock the lock to the next dimension of experience.

Guy:
Yeah. Yeah, you know, a question popped in there as well, because you had a very, like you mentioned yourself, a unique upbringing, right? And you’ve been exposed to a world at such a young age that I didn’t even know existed in my early 30s, right? Wow. So, I find that intriguing. And then, you know, you speak of being in the ego. When we’re in the ego, we don’t get that vantage point of that greater totality of who we are and different aspects of what may be the situation, especially when we go into a stress response. I’m curious, as a coach yourself, how do you then help people that have been living in their heads their whole life if they’re stuck in that ego and there’s a pain there to actually start to develop that awareness to go beyond and connect back to something greater than themselves than just the analytical mind trying to solve the problem.

Kute:
Yeah, I think that’s a tough question because for me it’s not about telling or talking. Of course, yeah. It really comes down to, that’s why I always tell people, look, information is limited. And that’s why for me, my work, my events, my retreats, really are about creating a space where people feel safe enough, with a clear intention, people feel safe enough to relax, to explore, the patterns of their life, because I think without the sincere intention and exploration, the sincere intention and willingness to heal and transform and shift the patterns, we won’t, because the ego doesn’t want to change. The ego wants to read and gather more information, but the ego doesn’t want to change. The ego wants you to change and me to change and the president to change and my spouse to change, but it doesn’t want to change, because the ego’s job is to reinforce is to protect you from getting hurt and reinforces existence. And so what I’ve done is just kind of created a space process, whether it’s been one on one or small groups or larger groups where people can feel safe enough to relax and look at themselves and question themselves. and take people through some specific processes that maybe help you help people question themselves and unravel some of the layers. of egoic holding and conditioning that we’ve learned to hold on and create a safe space where we can also feel some of those feelings that we’ve learned to suppress that have tended to keep us stuck and frozen in certain patterns out of survival. And so I think we have to be willing to question and we have to be willing, I think as a first step to start telling ourselves the truth about, so even if someone were to just begin by saying, okay, what lies am I telling myself? And just start, just starting there. That’s not the end. But there is no transformation without truth. There is no healing if you’re, I’m fine. Everything’s great. I have no problem. I have no, everything’s, here’s how you know that you’re lying to yourself in some way. Usually there’s some pain in life. And to me, pain is a blessing. Pain is feedback. emotional pain, form of depression, lack of energy, lack of aliveness, lack of joy, discomfort, you know, some pain, whatever level of gradient, physical pain, ongoing disease, to me pain is a feedback mechanism that there’s something you’re not listening to or paying attention to. So there is no freedom, there is no transformation without truth. And so I think if there’s a place that people can just begin, it’s just the gentle willingness to start telling yourself the truth. What lies am I telling myself? We stay in relationships that we know are not aligned. We betray ourselves to get love, validation and approval. It’s painful. When we lie to ourselves, it’s meant to be painful. To me, the fact it’s painful is a sign that we’re healthy. It’s a sign that the system inside is working. But often we feel the pain. but we don’t pay attention to it. We suppress it, we deny it, we drink it away, smoke it away, sex it away, shop it away, social media away, and then the pain just grows. So if we can just start with the truth. And I tell people, just take the pressure off of yourself of having to even take any action. You don’t even have to take action, because the fear of the consequence of the action often Shuts the ego down the self-protective ego down where now we get confused like I’m not sure I’m confused when deep down we know and so if we can just say okay, I Don’t have to take action. But let me just tell the truth. I Hate my job scary. I don’t know. I don’t have to leave my job But just let me get into a relationship with the truth. I hate my job I’m no longer in love with this person. I Have an alcohol issue No judgment just the truth about where you are, which then can open the space to start feeling what’s underneath that. And I think if we can just start with compassion, with gentleness, with non-judgment, to just get into relationship with what we feel and what’s true, in terms of what’s there, that can create an opening, you know, in terms of what’s next.

Guy:
Yeah. Amazing. Thank you. Transformation. There’s no transformation without truth. I just want to reiterate that. That’s great, mate. Thank you. Look, just before we wrap up the podcast and tell people where they can find out more about you, I always ask one question on the show, and that is, with everything we’ve covered today, what would you like the listeners to ponder on?

Kute:
I will say that you are going to die. You are going to die. Face it. Embrace it. Look at it. Hold it close. You are going to die. There’s no way out of this human experience. This body and this version of yourself is temporary. We want to avoid that reality. I think we will live forever, but we won’t. All the folks I’ve mentioned, Buddha, Bruce Lee, Mandela, Mother Teresa, they all died. We will die. None of us know when that moment will come. So if you can face it and make death your friend, it changes things. It gets you in touch with the the reality of life, the preciousness of each moment. And so if death came right now, would you be ready? If death came right now, what’s unsaid, what’s unexpressed, what’s ungiven, what’s uncommunicated? What regrets would you have? Feel it. For me, when my mother died, my mother was diagnosed with stomach cancer. in 2016, which also inspired the Surrender book. I got to be with her for an entire year in the process of her death. I was flying back and forth from LA to London to be with my mom one week every month during her chemo, and I would just hold her hand and sit with her. And up until that time, I thought I was just too busy saving the world. inspiring the world. I was too busy to go back. I was just too busy with important things. And it was during this year that I realized I had it all wrong. It was during this year of just sitting with my mother and literally just doing nothing, in chemo, talking about nothing, that I realized that the only regret I have in my life was not spending more time with my mother and I realized like, why did I wait till she was dying to spend time with her? It’s like, wow. And so at the end of your life, you can’t go to God or whatever you believe and say, hey God, can I get a refund on those two years I wasted in that relationship that I knew, I knew wasn’t right. There’s no refunds. Can I get a refund on those five years that I spent in that job that I knew I hated, it’s gone. And so fear your death, hold it close, not as a morbid thing, but as a reality check and inspiration to navigate your decisions, to discern what choices you’re going to make in life, to use it to align yourself with your deepest truth and to live that as boldly as you can. you’re going to die. If you embrace that fully, it will free you up to live more fully.

Guy:
Thank you, Kute. Powerful way to end a podcast. For everyone listening to this, where can we send them, mate, if they want to find out more about your work and what you’ve got coming up?

Kute:
I would just say, get the book, The Magic of Surrender. You can get it on Amazon. There’s just a lot of gems there. A lot of things are covered in that book in a simple way. And depending on when people listen to the podcast and if you’ve been inspired, if you’re someone that maybe feeling like you’re ready for the next level of your life and ready to heal, ready to transform. For the last, I would say 11 and a half, 12 years, I’ve done a very special event in Bali, Indonesia, and it’s called Boundless Bliss, the Bali Breakthrough Experience. I’ve done 21 events this December, the 5th through the 16th. It’s going to be my final one I ever do. In Bali, that is. I’ll do other things, but in Bali, it’s going to be the final one. It’s a 12-day unique experiential seminar training without walls, where I use Bali as the backdrop. And it’s profound. I take about 18 people at a time, and we dive deep. It’s a profound process. And so if you’re inspired, you feel ready, If you’re called, you can go to www.boundlessblissbarley.com. That’s boundlessblissbarley.com. Check out the video. You can apply. December the 5th through the 16th is your opportunity.

Guy:
Beautiful. All the links will be in the show notes for everyone. Mate, pleasure to have you on the podcast. Thank you for sharing. Appreciate it. Likewise. Thank you so much, mate.